Gym cutie is now in a questionable situation in my head. I can't decide if he's a jerk or extremely shy.
I received my Christmas miracle on Christmas eve when he decided to grace the gym with his presence. As soon as I saw him, I regretted my wardrobe choice that morning of a more masculine shirt so I retreated to the women's locker room to change into a sleeveless shirt that was more flattering to my new figure.
As life would have it, my routine that day called for the pulley weights which was the same section of the gym he was working out. When I had to step out for a minute to give my sister something out of my car, I purposely left my towel and workout notes on the bench where I was working out so no one would move my stuff.
Imagine my surprise when I get back to my bench and reach for my bar only to see it's not there. I looked over to my left at the next machine and I see that he's stolen my bar.
My first instinct told me it could have been an attempt at flirting but when I looked over and saw that he wasn't waiting for a reaction but instead working out furiously, I pouted as I went to retrieve another bar to resume my workout.
When I finished with the set, I noticed he'd moved to another area.
I told my sister the story and she thinks it may have been his attempt to get me to say something to him in the event that he is terribly shy. I do think this could be the case, but I'm also afraid the moment has passed. If you can come up with any clever comeback lines I can use in the future I'd be very appreciative but if not, then maybe I will give up this dream of he and I... Also, I'd love to hear your opinion do you think he was flirting or he is just a jerk?
Wednesday
Friday
Suprisngly late
Remember my former crush who resurfaced a few weeks ago? Well over the weekend in one of those small world getting smaller instances, I met a friend of his and sent him a text to tell him. We exchanged a few more texts after that and he ended the convo promising to call the next day and saying "I miss ya babe."
I kid you not. What could he have possibly missed? Perhaps me giving him BlueBell ice cream. Other than that. I have no clue.
I told my friend about it since she knew and encouraged my crushing activities for years and we both got a good laugh about it. Especially since he in fact didn't call the next day.
But yesterday afternoon I awoke (hey I was sick-don't judge) to a text from him stating that he was "checking in." We exchanged a few texts back and forth and that was the end of that.
His timing was late but I was surprised he even bothered to follow up. I still feel that the entire ordeal is a moot point but it does present the possibility of an option. And if you know me well, you know I don't shy away from storing any coins in my possibility bank.
I kid you not. What could he have possibly missed? Perhaps me giving him BlueBell ice cream. Other than that. I have no clue.
I told my friend about it since she knew and encouraged my crushing activities for years and we both got a good laugh about it. Especially since he in fact didn't call the next day.
But yesterday afternoon I awoke (hey I was sick-don't judge) to a text from him stating that he was "checking in." We exchanged a few texts back and forth and that was the end of that.
His timing was late but I was surprised he even bothered to follow up. I still feel that the entire ordeal is a moot point but it does present the possibility of an option. And if you know me well, you know I don't shy away from storing any coins in my possibility bank.
Message Unwanted?
Today I signed on to my AOL instant message account to catch up with a co-worker when I was notified that I had five messages from someone's handle I didn't recognize. I viewed the messages and then realized it was a guy from my past. Someone who at first raised my expectations of college guys or at least guys younger than me who knew how to treat a woman. Eventually I didn't see anything prospering between us because I wasn't as interested in him as he was me.
Truth is, he made me feel like a cougar.
One thing about this guy is that he is extremely persistent so even though I've tried to casually avoid dumping him, he won't give up.
Facebook IM was his preferred method of communication when I didn't return his texts and now he knows I have an AOL account. Never mind that I almost never use the account, I began to wonder if I wanted him to be able to message me.
It's at that moment that I noticed the nice message that allows you to click is the message you receive are inappropriate or unwanted.
Unwanted, maybe but seemingly not enough for me to block him entirely even though the last doorbell just delivered a corny attempt at flirting. Besides, I still have a good belief that all his efforts to make it in NYC will amount to something one day (I'm talking Sean John status) and if I get to benefit from that in anyway because I've "always been there from a distance." So be it.
For that, I'll be a cougar.
Truth is, he made me feel like a cougar.
One thing about this guy is that he is extremely persistent so even though I've tried to casually avoid dumping him, he won't give up.
Facebook IM was his preferred method of communication when I didn't return his texts and now he knows I have an AOL account. Never mind that I almost never use the account, I began to wonder if I wanted him to be able to message me.
It's at that moment that I noticed the nice message that allows you to click is the message you receive are inappropriate or unwanted.
Unwanted, maybe but seemingly not enough for me to block him entirely even though the last doorbell just delivered a corny attempt at flirting. Besides, I still have a good belief that all his efforts to make it in NYC will amount to something one day (I'm talking Sean John status) and if I get to benefit from that in anyway because I've "always been there from a distance." So be it.
For that, I'll be a cougar.
Wednesday
He said, She said ...
Wow. So this weekend was an eye-opening experience for me. I went to my best friend's graduation from nursing school in San Antonio, which also served as a mini-reunion with my college friends.
What I experienced in as few words as possible was an overwhelming sensation that I broke up with my ex over some misinformation. It's like that old saying, there are three versions of a story: yours, mine and the truth. In this case it was his, hers and the truth. The latter being something I may never know but I currently find myself asking: Could he really have been telling the truth about a previous fling (that started long before we got together) being over and the female in question fabricated her story to make herself sound more desirable???
Unfortunately, I believe the answer to that question is yes. I'm only half-relieved by the fact there were other incidents or issues we couldn't resolve that helped dissolve the relationship.
Even still, there's that nagging voice in my head that keeps saying "what would have happened if I didn't break up with him in April?" Would I be joining the ranks of other blushing fiances planning their dream weddings. It's highly doubtful, but in lieu of recent life events, the ex and I are beginning to strengthen our friendship and I'm glad this little bit of insight to his character has surfaced so that I can have better hopes for the future.
What I experienced in as few words as possible was an overwhelming sensation that I broke up with my ex over some misinformation. It's like that old saying, there are three versions of a story: yours, mine and the truth. In this case it was his, hers and the truth. The latter being something I may never know but I currently find myself asking: Could he really have been telling the truth about a previous fling (that started long before we got together) being over and the female in question fabricated her story to make herself sound more desirable???
Unfortunately, I believe the answer to that question is yes. I'm only half-relieved by the fact there were other incidents or issues we couldn't resolve that helped dissolve the relationship.
Even still, there's that nagging voice in my head that keeps saying "what would have happened if I didn't break up with him in April?" Would I be joining the ranks of other blushing fiances planning their dream weddings. It's highly doubtful, but in lieu of recent life events, the ex and I are beginning to strengthen our friendship and I'm glad this little bit of insight to his character has surfaced so that I can have better hopes for the future.
Saturday
What not to wear
If you can believe this, this blog is coming to you live from a nite club. Why you ask?
First, I'm bored out of my mind- I have never been a "clubber" and don't plan on ever becoming one. Second, I was able to scan the crowd of guys within 10 minutes and see there were no possible matches. Third, the current song playing is "stanky leg."
Ummmm no thanks.
So instead I'm now forced to look at the females and critique their choice outfits.
It never ceases to astonish me that women will wear half of a face towel to a club and then wonder why a man only wants to sleep with them. Get a clue. Or better yet some clothes.
No. This is not the bitter remarks of an ugly girl not being paid any attention. This is coming from the heart and as a true public service announcement to girls whose outfits do not do them any justice to the outstanding qualities or brain power they may possess.
First, I'm bored out of my mind- I have never been a "clubber" and don't plan on ever becoming one. Second, I was able to scan the crowd of guys within 10 minutes and see there were no possible matches. Third, the current song playing is "stanky leg."
Ummmm no thanks.
So instead I'm now forced to look at the females and critique their choice outfits.
It never ceases to astonish me that women will wear half of a face towel to a club and then wonder why a man only wants to sleep with them. Get a clue. Or better yet some clothes.
No. This is not the bitter remarks of an ugly girl not being paid any attention. This is coming from the heart and as a true public service announcement to girls whose outfits do not do them any justice to the outstanding qualities or brain power they may possess.
Friday
No Cuties in Edmonton
Ok, well if you count the maintenance guy who has the fitness facility closed because they are building something inside there maybe one but given that I can't work out he's not looking so good right now. The two young guys at the hotel front desk are average at best and now that I'm snowed in the odds of me seeing anyone else is slim to none.
Looks like Wednesday can't get here sooner...
Looks like Wednesday can't get here sooner...
Don't go there...
Today I reconnected with a former crush. And when I say crush, I mean this was a weight of 200 tons when I realized what was to become of our off-and-on flirtations: NOTHING AT ALL.
For one, I've always weighed more than him so I would remark to my friend who introduced us that I would "break him." LOL. And now, even though I'm ten pounds away from my goal weight-one that I know would put me even if not slightly under his weight, I still want to scream "DON'T BABE ME!!"
Second, he was always a ladies man and I'm sure still has a number of girls on reserve. Just like when he tried to make me remember being introduced to his girlfriend with whom he was going to Miami... I think I held my composure well that day but the jury is still out.
Despite this, I've already gone into Facebook stalker mode and saw that he's called someone else babe within the last month so that's probably just his new catchphrase. At this point I'm like Leona Lewis "I Just wanna Be Happy..." and the last thing I need is to get my hopes up for someone who won't come through.
Here's what I will do. Continue to practice my flirting skills and then if he ever makes his way back to H-Town decide what to do then...
For one, I've always weighed more than him so I would remark to my friend who introduced us that I would "break him." LOL. And now, even though I'm ten pounds away from my goal weight-one that I know would put me even if not slightly under his weight, I still want to scream "DON'T BABE ME!!"
Second, he was always a ladies man and I'm sure still has a number of girls on reserve. Just like when he tried to make me remember being introduced to his girlfriend with whom he was going to Miami... I think I held my composure well that day but the jury is still out.
Despite this, I've already gone into Facebook stalker mode and saw that he's called someone else babe within the last month so that's probably just his new catchphrase. At this point I'm like Leona Lewis "I Just wanna Be Happy..." and the last thing I need is to get my hopes up for someone who won't come through.
Here's what I will do. Continue to practice my flirting skills and then if he ever makes his way back to H-Town decide what to do then...
Monday
A New Take on the Good Girls & Bad Boys Theory
While I was reading the advice column in Elle magazine, the columnist gave the best explanation I've heard ever about why seemingly good girls like bad boys.
The astute woman told a perturbed good guy who wrote in on the subject that she believed we (yes, I'm including myself in this generalization) like bad boys because we are bad ourselves. As people say we are attracted to people who are like us, therefore there is some quality about you that you are attracted to in the other person.
For me, the one quality I like in particular is when a guy says that he isn't looking for a relationship or that he is busy. Because I'm an extremely busy person by nature and not necessarily out of choice, I like someone who would also understand when I only have 5 hours tops to share out of an entire week. BUT when I choose to spend time with that person, I would hope they knows that means a lot that I chose to use my free hours with them. On the other hand, I also expect them to understand when I ignore their calls or texts just because I don't feel like dealing with them at the time. As the Bible has showed me more than once, "you reap, what you sow."
I've already harped on how some of these guys misunderstand my definition of not looking for a relationship as the new version of "I like to have a good time." So in the future I will once again use the lesson I learned from my eighth grade English teacher "Specific is Terrific."
And be specific in any relationship founding stages about what I want, expect and can give in a relationship. And maybe those bad boys won't be so bad after all.
The astute woman told a perturbed good guy who wrote in on the subject that she believed we (yes, I'm including myself in this generalization) like bad boys because we are bad ourselves. As people say we are attracted to people who are like us, therefore there is some quality about you that you are attracted to in the other person.
For me, the one quality I like in particular is when a guy says that he isn't looking for a relationship or that he is busy. Because I'm an extremely busy person by nature and not necessarily out of choice, I like someone who would also understand when I only have 5 hours tops to share out of an entire week. BUT when I choose to spend time with that person, I would hope they knows that means a lot that I chose to use my free hours with them. On the other hand, I also expect them to understand when I ignore their calls or texts just because I don't feel like dealing with them at the time. As the Bible has showed me more than once, "you reap, what you sow."
I've already harped on how some of these guys misunderstand my definition of not looking for a relationship as the new version of "I like to have a good time." So in the future I will once again use the lesson I learned from my eighth grade English teacher "Specific is Terrific."
And be specific in any relationship founding stages about what I want, expect and can give in a relationship. And maybe those bad boys won't be so bad after all.
Old Flame, Try No Flame
Saturday I used 1 hour and 25 minutes of my time to catch up with my ex-boyfriend.
While my mother insists that it is good for me to be in communication with him and not hold a grudge for things that have since transpired, I think I get more annoyed with every conversation we have because he doesn't seem to want to fess up that he messed up BIG TIME and let the greatest thing in his life go.
But that's just the resentful side of me talking.
So during this conversation he repeated his question I neglected to answer of whom I went to the movies with the previous night before (it was Junior) and I once again didn't answer.
It wasn't that I was afraid to tell him, but that I didn't feel it was any of his business.
I think now that he faces deployment again in three months he's started reflecting again on how much I was there for him the last time but I honestly can't allow myself to do that again. Not only because it's selfish of him, but because I don't want to.
He is extremely interested in a pair of riding boots that I want to buy but are way too expensive for me to purchase. I refuse to buy them until I have money for my other important things that are coming up-say getting my brakes replaced on my truck. Two years ago when he was trying to get back into my life he bought me things to show he cared.
This time, I don't care and like a tree that's planted by the water, I shall not be moved. LOL. But honestly, I don't want anything else from him because I don't want him to think he has a chance.
I can't believe he had the nerve to talk about what he wanted to do in the future and how he would bring his kids over to my house. I told him I thought he would need to check with his wife first because she probably wouldn't appreciate it. And besides I said, I'm not going to be around like that in the future. I'm not going to be that girl they have to explain who shows up at family holiday events.
I'm not sure if he got my point. He's usually clueless so he doesn't. But I will keep my heart guarded from him while keeping my mom's advice in mind.
He is afterall going to Afghanistan.
While my mother insists that it is good for me to be in communication with him and not hold a grudge for things that have since transpired, I think I get more annoyed with every conversation we have because he doesn't seem to want to fess up that he messed up BIG TIME and let the greatest thing in his life go.
But that's just the resentful side of me talking.
So during this conversation he repeated his question I neglected to answer of whom I went to the movies with the previous night before (it was Junior) and I once again didn't answer.
It wasn't that I was afraid to tell him, but that I didn't feel it was any of his business.
I think now that he faces deployment again in three months he's started reflecting again on how much I was there for him the last time but I honestly can't allow myself to do that again. Not only because it's selfish of him, but because I don't want to.
He is extremely interested in a pair of riding boots that I want to buy but are way too expensive for me to purchase. I refuse to buy them until I have money for my other important things that are coming up-say getting my brakes replaced on my truck. Two years ago when he was trying to get back into my life he bought me things to show he cared.
This time, I don't care and like a tree that's planted by the water, I shall not be moved. LOL. But honestly, I don't want anything else from him because I don't want him to think he has a chance.
I can't believe he had the nerve to talk about what he wanted to do in the future and how he would bring his kids over to my house. I told him I thought he would need to check with his wife first because she probably wouldn't appreciate it. And besides I said, I'm not going to be around like that in the future. I'm not going to be that girl they have to explain who shows up at family holiday events.
I'm not sure if he got my point. He's usually clueless so he doesn't. But I will keep my heart guarded from him while keeping my mom's advice in mind.
He is afterall going to Afghanistan.
If you can't trust a preacher
This summer I received my most interesting albeit disturbing proposition from a man. And yesterday I received news that made that encounter even more horrible.
I was teaching at a summer youth church conference for an entire week and having a great time. My classroom was on the main floor and one day I needed some pencils for my class. I asked the first person I saw, whom happened to be the pastor of the host church. He retrieved my pencils, I thanked him and went on my way.
On the second day of class, he asked me if I had a moment could I please stop by. Me being the new kid on the block and having different teaching styles from the other instructors, I begin to worry that during the times he stopped my class, he heard something he didn't like.
I wasn't able to find out that afternoon however, because our church van loaded quickly and I took some conference calls on my lunch break.
The next morning he saw me and repeated his request as well as told me his disappointment that we didn't talk the previous day. I assured him I would find him later that day.
Apparently, he couldn't wait. During a break between classes I was on my way to the restroom when he asked me to step into a room (it just so happened to be my classroom). I was fine with the situation until he closed the door and put his hand over the door.
He was taller and larger than me so this was immediately intimidating and awkward. His words to me didn't help the situation either. Let me remind you that we were at a church conference before I go on.
To paraphrase we had a conversation that amounted to him revealing that he thought I was beautiful and that he wanted to take me out. In addition he revealed he was 13 years my senior but didn't think there was a problem with that. I told him that as with everything in my life I would need to pray on whether I should give him my number so that he could call me. Shockingly he asked me when I thought I'd get an answer. He of all people knows you can't put a time on when God will move.
So that answer got me off the hook and I finally made it to the bathroom to relieve myself and wash myself from what I felt was a slimy encounter. I did pray for an answer but received none from the remainder of the week so I left it alone.
A few weeks ago he was scheduled to appear at our church and never made it. I admit I was nervous to attend the service but decided I had done nothing wrong other than not communicating that I hadn't received an answer.
So you can imagine my shock when my own pastor announced that next Saturday this very same preacher would be getting married out my church!!!
Like any sane woman I did the math, and even spotted him an extra month. 5 months after he approached me he was getting married. It really makes you think and wonder whether his current relationship developed quickly and he was really ready for marriage OR if he was in the relationship already.
Which makes me think, if you can't trust a preacher, then who can you trust?
There are at least two other preachers who have been sniffing around lately --neither of which I'm interested in. One reminds me of the main character in the story in that he is an older man who wants to settle down and have the perfect YOUNG preacher's wife.
I'm not a complete hellion but God has some work left on me and for now I don't think I've found the right preacher yet who can make me consider marriage.
So be careful the next time you are at church-not only are the women looking for men, but the men are looking too. And those in the pulpit are able to scan the entire congregation for the entire service!
I was teaching at a summer youth church conference for an entire week and having a great time. My classroom was on the main floor and one day I needed some pencils for my class. I asked the first person I saw, whom happened to be the pastor of the host church. He retrieved my pencils, I thanked him and went on my way.
On the second day of class, he asked me if I had a moment could I please stop by. Me being the new kid on the block and having different teaching styles from the other instructors, I begin to worry that during the times he stopped my class, he heard something he didn't like.
I wasn't able to find out that afternoon however, because our church van loaded quickly and I took some conference calls on my lunch break.
The next morning he saw me and repeated his request as well as told me his disappointment that we didn't talk the previous day. I assured him I would find him later that day.
Apparently, he couldn't wait. During a break between classes I was on my way to the restroom when he asked me to step into a room (it just so happened to be my classroom). I was fine with the situation until he closed the door and put his hand over the door.
He was taller and larger than me so this was immediately intimidating and awkward. His words to me didn't help the situation either. Let me remind you that we were at a church conference before I go on.
To paraphrase we had a conversation that amounted to him revealing that he thought I was beautiful and that he wanted to take me out. In addition he revealed he was 13 years my senior but didn't think there was a problem with that. I told him that as with everything in my life I would need to pray on whether I should give him my number so that he could call me. Shockingly he asked me when I thought I'd get an answer. He of all people knows you can't put a time on when God will move.
So that answer got me off the hook and I finally made it to the bathroom to relieve myself and wash myself from what I felt was a slimy encounter. I did pray for an answer but received none from the remainder of the week so I left it alone.
A few weeks ago he was scheduled to appear at our church and never made it. I admit I was nervous to attend the service but decided I had done nothing wrong other than not communicating that I hadn't received an answer.
So you can imagine my shock when my own pastor announced that next Saturday this very same preacher would be getting married out my church!!!
Like any sane woman I did the math, and even spotted him an extra month. 5 months after he approached me he was getting married. It really makes you think and wonder whether his current relationship developed quickly and he was really ready for marriage OR if he was in the relationship already.
Which makes me think, if you can't trust a preacher, then who can you trust?
There are at least two other preachers who have been sniffing around lately --neither of which I'm interested in. One reminds me of the main character in the story in that he is an older man who wants to settle down and have the perfect YOUNG preacher's wife.
I'm not a complete hellion but God has some work left on me and for now I don't think I've found the right preacher yet who can make me consider marriage.
So be careful the next time you are at church-not only are the women looking for men, but the men are looking too. And those in the pulpit are able to scan the entire congregation for the entire service!
Junior
So I went out with Jr. this weekend and I can't quite put my finger on it but something isn't quite right.
Don't get me wrong. He said all the right things and he paid for dinner and our movie but there's that little alarm and red flag waving in the back of my head that this may not be a good match.
Last night we hung out briefly because he said he wanted to see me before I leave for two weeks and I obliged knowing that in the past I would have blown a guy off for the sake of sleeping.
I know people in glass houses can't throw stones but as I drove to his place, while I liked that he only lived 10 minutes away, I just couldn't get over the fact that he still lives with his mom. Sure, he's only a few months older than me but I just think in a real relationship at least one of the two people should have their own place.
Not to mention I think guys get my definition of "not looking for a relationship" confused with "I'll hang out with any guy because I'm not looking to be tied down."
I think this is what happened to Junior because while he said he only has "associates" who are females, I peeped that he was texting someone named Ashley while I was over his place and if anyone knows me, they know I don't deal well with liars.
I told him such as well as not to try to outsmart me because he wouldn't win. I think he thinks this is a challenge and he will try to continue to win me over but I know he has no idea what he's in for.
At any rate maybe this trip to Canada will help ease my mind and get me away from all this male madness I've been experiencing.
Don't get me wrong. He said all the right things and he paid for dinner and our movie but there's that little alarm and red flag waving in the back of my head that this may not be a good match.
Last night we hung out briefly because he said he wanted to see me before I leave for two weeks and I obliged knowing that in the past I would have blown a guy off for the sake of sleeping.
I know people in glass houses can't throw stones but as I drove to his place, while I liked that he only lived 10 minutes away, I just couldn't get over the fact that he still lives with his mom. Sure, he's only a few months older than me but I just think in a real relationship at least one of the two people should have their own place.
Not to mention I think guys get my definition of "not looking for a relationship" confused with "I'll hang out with any guy because I'm not looking to be tied down."
I think this is what happened to Junior because while he said he only has "associates" who are females, I peeped that he was texting someone named Ashley while I was over his place and if anyone knows me, they know I don't deal well with liars.
I told him such as well as not to try to outsmart me because he wouldn't win. I think he thinks this is a challenge and he will try to continue to win me over but I know he has no idea what he's in for.
At any rate maybe this trip to Canada will help ease my mind and get me away from all this male madness I've been experiencing.
Thursday
Thankful
Today I'm thankful for so many things. While I may not have the constant love of a male companion, I do have the love of many wonderful friends and family members whom I also adore.
But today I was thankful when I received my t-day miracle of my cutie from the gym also choosing to work out during the same time as I.
Yes, I stalked him from my treadmill from the moment I saw him appear until I left. Unfortunately we were not within speaking distance otherwise I would have tried my social skills and his by wishing him a "happy Thanksgiving."
On another positive side I think I found another guy from the gym who may be good for my cousin. I'm going to feel him out first and then see if I can make a connection.
But today I was thankful when I received my t-day miracle of my cutie from the gym also choosing to work out during the same time as I.
Yes, I stalked him from my treadmill from the moment I saw him appear until I left. Unfortunately we were not within speaking distance otherwise I would have tried my social skills and his by wishing him a "happy Thanksgiving."
On another positive side I think I found another guy from the gym who may be good for my cousin. I'm going to feel him out first and then see if I can make a connection.
Missed Opportunities & Second Chances
A few months ago I attended a funeral of a great man who lost his life to cancer. This man coached t-ball with my father for several years and throughout that time our families became close. Of course as life went on and all of us kids were too old for the t-ball scene, we drifted apart except for the occasional run-in at church or community events.
At the funeral his son (we'll call him Jr. for future purposes) gave a beautiful speech on behalf of the family. His words about his father were loving and honest. It was heart-breaking but inspiring. After the funeral. I approached Jr. to tell him what a great job he did. It of course took him a few seconds to recognize me but not too long.I thought I was mistaken but when I prepared to leave I thought he held on to my hand a little longer than normal as if he wanted to say something else but refrained given the location and other people surrounding us.
It turns out-he did.
I ran into Jr. yesterday as I walking into the mall and he was departing. Unsure if it was him I called his name and then reintroduced myself (I cut my hair by several inches since our last encounter). Within minutes I found myself giving my number to him on the pretense that we would hang out soon to "catch up."
Several text messages later that night he revealed that he always had a crush on me so he was happy he ran into me again. Humble as I am I asked him was he sure he didn't mean my older sis with whom everyone was in love with. But he said he was sure it was me which I believe since we are the same age.
I must admit flattery does work well on my ego especially when it appears sincere.
It's thanksgiving and he's already called twice to see how the day is going and whether I feel up to hanging out. Unfortunately I'm bushed so I only feel like getting the bed now but tomorrow is another day and another chance -perhaps a seconf chance to get it right.
At the funeral his son (we'll call him Jr. for future purposes) gave a beautiful speech on behalf of the family. His words about his father were loving and honest. It was heart-breaking but inspiring. After the funeral. I approached Jr. to tell him what a great job he did. It of course took him a few seconds to recognize me but not too long.I thought I was mistaken but when I prepared to leave I thought he held on to my hand a little longer than normal as if he wanted to say something else but refrained given the location and other people surrounding us.
It turns out-he did.
I ran into Jr. yesterday as I walking into the mall and he was departing. Unsure if it was him I called his name and then reintroduced myself (I cut my hair by several inches since our last encounter). Within minutes I found myself giving my number to him on the pretense that we would hang out soon to "catch up."
Several text messages later that night he revealed that he always had a crush on me so he was happy he ran into me again. Humble as I am I asked him was he sure he didn't mean my older sis with whom everyone was in love with. But he said he was sure it was me which I believe since we are the same age.
I must admit flattery does work well on my ego especially when it appears sincere.
It's thanksgiving and he's already called twice to see how the day is going and whether I feel up to hanging out. Unfortunately I'm bushed so I only feel like getting the bed now but tomorrow is another day and another chance -perhaps a seconf chance to get it right.
Monday
Gym candy
Aside from Goldie, I must admit I do have a good time at the gym passing my prescribed 40-minutes of cardio on the treadmill by looking at all the guys.
There's a good mix of ethnicities who work out in our gym, so I can get the best of all countries as I sweat. Not one of my more attractive qualities, but it happens so if I do pick someone up at the gym, they'll at least know what they are getting... But back to my point.
I'm starting to believe the more times I see people the more attractive they become. There's one guy in particular who just gets cuter every day I see him.
Admittedly, I did change my workout schedule to some mid-days so I could watch him workout and play basketball (YUM! My weakness...) but lately my training has been more rigorous and time-consuming and I haven't seen him as much.
I'm happy (and sad) to report I'm not the only woman who feels this guy looks good. I pointed him out to a friend and my sister and they both agree. Lucky for me my sister is married, my friend however is not. I know if she agrees then there are some other girls who agree and may have a better chance.
Truth be told, I'm actually incredibly shy when it comes to approaching men romantically, so all I'm looking for is mild and mindless entertainment of watching him workout and maybe the occasional hello.
But should anything develop in the future, I will continue to watch my form on my squats and continue color-coordinating my workout clothes.
There's a good mix of ethnicities who work out in our gym, so I can get the best of all countries as I sweat. Not one of my more attractive qualities, but it happens so if I do pick someone up at the gym, they'll at least know what they are getting... But back to my point.
I'm starting to believe the more times I see people the more attractive they become. There's one guy in particular who just gets cuter every day I see him.
Admittedly, I did change my workout schedule to some mid-days so I could watch him workout and play basketball (YUM! My weakness...) but lately my training has been more rigorous and time-consuming and I haven't seen him as much.
I'm happy (and sad) to report I'm not the only woman who feels this guy looks good. I pointed him out to a friend and my sister and they both agree. Lucky for me my sister is married, my friend however is not. I know if she agrees then there are some other girls who agree and may have a better chance.
Truth be told, I'm actually incredibly shy when it comes to approaching men romantically, so all I'm looking for is mild and mindless entertainment of watching him workout and maybe the occasional hello.
But should anything develop in the future, I will continue to watch my form on my squats and continue color-coordinating my workout clothes.
You godda be kiddin me
I have a friend who told me she goes on multiple dates a day with guys she doesn't like. She said these guys even buy her things just "because."
I had trouble believing this information and I'm not entirely sure why, but I think I figured it out a few weeks ago. It has everything to do with my time and who I believe or deem worthy of having it.
I'm a single woman, who works for herself, works out at least two hours a day and currently needs to study for a test at least two hours a day, and let's not forget I like to get 8 hours of sleep as often as possible. So that is at least 20 hours of my day which means I only have four left. Not much time at all so I like to spend it wisely.
The last time I went to a mall was on a vacation the first week in October- we are now in the last week in November. I hadn't seen a movie since early summer-I believe Wolverine....
Because I spend a lot of time in the gym, I see several people regularly. This includes guys. And according to my trainer, a female who works out a lot is very attractive to men who do the same.
Recently I was approached by a guy who asked me if I'd like to hang out some time. Once again, I'm still on the mission to find a new male best friend, so I told him I'd think about it. I feel this opportunity will keep me from every considering any offer from a guy at the gym again. Here's all the badlights:
1. He has two gold teeth- I love my cousins with gold teeth, but I'd like them to see just like he should that gold teeth are NEVER appropriate.
2. As he asked for my number he flipped open his phone and there is a picture of a woman with large breasts...
3. He starts to come up and try to hold a long conversation whenever we are in the gym at the same time. I like to stay focused and usually try to get in and out of the gym as fast as I can.
4. In the first and only phone conversation we have he admits that he cheats on his driver's log books. As the daughter of parents with an honest trucking company-this doesn't sit well.
5. He says he doesn't go to church a lot... And tries to make me seem rude by my saying this is an issue FOR ME!
6. He loiters in the pool area as i do my laps - I can actually see him standing in the steam room staring at me. WEIRDO!!
7. His small talk is intellectually annoying. Yes, I go to the gym, but I've also told you I am studying for a test for grad school and yet all you really want to know about me is how many days a week I go to the gym??? Or how tired I was after spin class?
8. This was the kicker: The one time I decided to go out in public, he shows up with two big gold hoop earrings in each ear (possibly two total earrings in each ear but I couldn't bring myself to look) and wears sunglasses in the movie theatre.
REALLY BRUH? You are that cool? Right... I can't tell you how embarrassed I was for him- a 30-year old with gold teeth and big gold hoop earrings, much less myself for being seen in public with him. He insisted beforehand that he would pay for my movie ticket and after his wardrobe malfunctions, I decided I would let him. Because no way was I going to pay my own way to be seen with someone who looked like he did.
So the two hours of my time at the movie theatre with him was not at all equal to the $5.50 matinee price of my movie ticket but I did learn a lot from the experience. AND if any of the guys who approaches my friend are like that, I can see why she'd let them pay, but I can't say I'd continue to spend time with them if I don't like them.
I had trouble believing this information and I'm not entirely sure why, but I think I figured it out a few weeks ago. It has everything to do with my time and who I believe or deem worthy of having it.
I'm a single woman, who works for herself, works out at least two hours a day and currently needs to study for a test at least two hours a day, and let's not forget I like to get 8 hours of sleep as often as possible. So that is at least 20 hours of my day which means I only have four left. Not much time at all so I like to spend it wisely.
The last time I went to a mall was on a vacation the first week in October- we are now in the last week in November. I hadn't seen a movie since early summer-I believe Wolverine....
Because I spend a lot of time in the gym, I see several people regularly. This includes guys. And according to my trainer, a female who works out a lot is very attractive to men who do the same.
Recently I was approached by a guy who asked me if I'd like to hang out some time. Once again, I'm still on the mission to find a new male best friend, so I told him I'd think about it. I feel this opportunity will keep me from every considering any offer from a guy at the gym again. Here's all the badlights:
1. He has two gold teeth- I love my cousins with gold teeth, but I'd like them to see just like he should that gold teeth are NEVER appropriate.
2. As he asked for my number he flipped open his phone and there is a picture of a woman with large breasts...
3. He starts to come up and try to hold a long conversation whenever we are in the gym at the same time. I like to stay focused and usually try to get in and out of the gym as fast as I can.
4. In the first and only phone conversation we have he admits that he cheats on his driver's log books. As the daughter of parents with an honest trucking company-this doesn't sit well.
5. He says he doesn't go to church a lot... And tries to make me seem rude by my saying this is an issue FOR ME!
6. He loiters in the pool area as i do my laps - I can actually see him standing in the steam room staring at me. WEIRDO!!
7. His small talk is intellectually annoying. Yes, I go to the gym, but I've also told you I am studying for a test for grad school and yet all you really want to know about me is how many days a week I go to the gym??? Or how tired I was after spin class?
8. This was the kicker: The one time I decided to go out in public, he shows up with two big gold hoop earrings in each ear (possibly two total earrings in each ear but I couldn't bring myself to look) and wears sunglasses in the movie theatre.
REALLY BRUH? You are that cool? Right... I can't tell you how embarrassed I was for him- a 30-year old with gold teeth and big gold hoop earrings, much less myself for being seen in public with him. He insisted beforehand that he would pay for my movie ticket and after his wardrobe malfunctions, I decided I would let him. Because no way was I going to pay my own way to be seen with someone who looked like he did.
So the two hours of my time at the movie theatre with him was not at all equal to the $5.50 matinee price of my movie ticket but I did learn a lot from the experience. AND if any of the guys who approaches my friend are like that, I can see why she'd let them pay, but I can't say I'd continue to spend time with them if I don't like them.
EVERYDAY?
Recent events in Texas led me to reach out my military ex to ensure he was okay. We've become more friendly since this summer but still I keep communication limited to about once a month because after our break-up other than lots of mean and sarcastic things, I haven't found myself with much to say to him.
But, the night before a tragic event at his base, I followed through on the urge to email him and let him know my feelings about how and why I handled our breakup. I was polite but firm and essentially said that I was working on becoming his friend again.
The next day, my mom told me tragedy happened so I sent him a text to make sure he was okay. Now he's been texting or calling everyday since and I'm just a tad annoyed.
I'm not one to sweep anything under the rug and pretend that there isn't a small, but present, chip on my shoulder over the way he handled things. He's facing another deployment to Iraq in the spring --the thing that brought us together the last time.
But this time, I'm firm on my position of only remaining friends with him. For some reason, while he's never cheated on me or done anything that would be deemed unforgivable I can't allow myself to let him back into my life and give as much as I have in the past.
In recent weeks, I've been the go-to-go girl for two of my exes dealing with crises and I realized that's what they expect from me. My role has always been to be the supportive, caring and over-accommodating girlfriend/friend who gives everything without demanding anything in return.
The problem for them is, now that I've read this awesome book on Biblical boundaries, I know that I should get reciprocal love and I won't settle for anything else.
So what I would have considered cute and a sign that he was back into me a year ago, I now know is his selfishness to cultivate a relationship only when he's ready for one and I don't think I have the time to devote to it.
It may sound cold, but as Lady Antebellum said "Love Don't Live Here Anymore."
But, the night before a tragic event at his base, I followed through on the urge to email him and let him know my feelings about how and why I handled our breakup. I was polite but firm and essentially said that I was working on becoming his friend again.
The next day, my mom told me tragedy happened so I sent him a text to make sure he was okay. Now he's been texting or calling everyday since and I'm just a tad annoyed.
I'm not one to sweep anything under the rug and pretend that there isn't a small, but present, chip on my shoulder over the way he handled things. He's facing another deployment to Iraq in the spring --the thing that brought us together the last time.
But this time, I'm firm on my position of only remaining friends with him. For some reason, while he's never cheated on me or done anything that would be deemed unforgivable I can't allow myself to let him back into my life and give as much as I have in the past.
In recent weeks, I've been the go-to-go girl for two of my exes dealing with crises and I realized that's what they expect from me. My role has always been to be the supportive, caring and over-accommodating girlfriend/friend who gives everything without demanding anything in return.
The problem for them is, now that I've read this awesome book on Biblical boundaries, I know that I should get reciprocal love and I won't settle for anything else.
So what I would have considered cute and a sign that he was back into me a year ago, I now know is his selfishness to cultivate a relationship only when he's ready for one and I don't think I have the time to devote to it.
It may sound cold, but as Lady Antebellum said "Love Don't Live Here Anymore."
"Keep It Moving"
Apparently this was my ex-boyfriend's choice phrase for telling other guys who were interested in me (with or without my knowledge). Truth be told, he never let me know how he felt about me, but my sneaking suspicion of him having some role in the disappearance of guys I danced with or talked to at parties.
The other night I was finally able to get him to fess up and the funny part is, I wasn't even mad. In fact, I just laughed at finally being able to confirm what I thought all along.
I mean, really how many years does it take to admit that you tapped a guy I was dancing with while we were "on a break" and pulled him aside and told him I was off limits? In our case, apparently 7.
Truth be told, none of the guys that I know he dismissed have amounted to anything so it was probably for the best. And as he explained how he approached each situation, I learned that more people in college knew he had feelings for me than I expected. So on some level at that point in time, while he couldn't express his feelings to me, he let others know.
So for the sake of closure, I can now put my mind to rest on what happened to those three guys in particular and move on with my life hoping he's not the reason some other guys have disappeared in more recent years...
The other night I was finally able to get him to fess up and the funny part is, I wasn't even mad. In fact, I just laughed at finally being able to confirm what I thought all along.
I mean, really how many years does it take to admit that you tapped a guy I was dancing with while we were "on a break" and pulled him aside and told him I was off limits? In our case, apparently 7.
Truth be told, none of the guys that I know he dismissed have amounted to anything so it was probably for the best. And as he explained how he approached each situation, I learned that more people in college knew he had feelings for me than I expected. So on some level at that point in time, while he couldn't express his feelings to me, he let others know.
So for the sake of closure, I can now put my mind to rest on what happened to those three guys in particular and move on with my life hoping he's not the reason some other guys have disappeared in more recent years...
I smell trouble
Saturday I had the great opportunity to hang out with some people my age who participate in a local service organization. We spent the morning doing community service and I've had two additional meetings to observe their behavior so I decided to accept their invite to hang out later. After all, I'm still on the mission to find another really good guy friend...
Turns out the party, which had I been forewarned was being thrown under the guise of "whatever happens, happens," was extremely fun.
I felt that the people were my equals intellectually and in terms satisfaction of geeky entertainment.
There was one disturbing part to the night however, and that was my attraction to a guy who has actually been nice since we met a few weeks ago. We'll call him Mr. Banker. Coincidentally, the night before my second meeting, he attended an MBA event and while we never spoke that night, we saw each other and recognized one another the next day. So we traded information and called. He was extremely chatty and I was myself. He invited me to a fight party that his friend was throwing and then added that he would be attending with "his girl."
I didn't mind that admission (ok, so I did a little because he seems very promising) but I was unable to make the party that weekend because I had previous plans.
When I arrived at the party on Saturday, I was sure his girlfriend would be in attendance so I played it cool on talking to him until he would introduce her to me.
The introduction didn't happen before we all played "Truth or Dare Jenga" so I found it safe to assume she wasn't there when he was dared to "rub noses with another player" and chose me. I was embarrassed, awkward and therefore thankful the picture another player decided to snap did not catch the action. Equally mortifying was when I picked the piece that instructed me to "blow a rasberry on another player's stomach" and he choose to explain what that was to the entire group so that I could do it. I declined and opted to blow a kiss to our gracious host.
The best part of that game was when the girl next to me knocked over the tower. Of course then, that led us to Mr. Banker's game of "questions." Previously we were instructed to write down a question on a scrap of paper and put it in a bowl. The bowl was shaken and each person would remove a question and ask it to the group.
The questions were surprisingly (to me anyway) mostly about relationships so I then learned more than I probably would have cared to know, but am happy I did about Mr. Banker and women.
In the end, I decided he was handsome, had tremendous potential, but was too much of a player, had too much "experience"-in fact the term "slutbag" really came to mind first- and therefore would be more trouble than he's worth.
Isn't that the way it always is? I'm glad that despite the attraction, I'm happy to see my progress in spotting a man who would bring me trouble before it all goes down. Maybe I have learned something this year after all.
Turns out the party, which had I been forewarned was being thrown under the guise of "whatever happens, happens," was extremely fun.
I felt that the people were my equals intellectually and in terms satisfaction of geeky entertainment.
There was one disturbing part to the night however, and that was my attraction to a guy who has actually been nice since we met a few weeks ago. We'll call him Mr. Banker. Coincidentally, the night before my second meeting, he attended an MBA event and while we never spoke that night, we saw each other and recognized one another the next day. So we traded information and called. He was extremely chatty and I was myself. He invited me to a fight party that his friend was throwing and then added that he would be attending with "his girl."
I didn't mind that admission (ok, so I did a little because he seems very promising) but I was unable to make the party that weekend because I had previous plans.
When I arrived at the party on Saturday, I was sure his girlfriend would be in attendance so I played it cool on talking to him until he would introduce her to me.
The introduction didn't happen before we all played "Truth or Dare Jenga" so I found it safe to assume she wasn't there when he was dared to "rub noses with another player" and chose me. I was embarrassed, awkward and therefore thankful the picture another player decided to snap did not catch the action. Equally mortifying was when I picked the piece that instructed me to "blow a rasberry on another player's stomach" and he choose to explain what that was to the entire group so that I could do it. I declined and opted to blow a kiss to our gracious host.
The best part of that game was when the girl next to me knocked over the tower. Of course then, that led us to Mr. Banker's game of "questions." Previously we were instructed to write down a question on a scrap of paper and put it in a bowl. The bowl was shaken and each person would remove a question and ask it to the group.
The questions were surprisingly (to me anyway) mostly about relationships so I then learned more than I probably would have cared to know, but am happy I did about Mr. Banker and women.
In the end, I decided he was handsome, had tremendous potential, but was too much of a player, had too much "experience"-in fact the term "slutbag" really came to mind first- and therefore would be more trouble than he's worth.
Isn't that the way it always is? I'm glad that despite the attraction, I'm happy to see my progress in spotting a man who would bring me trouble before it all goes down. Maybe I have learned something this year after all.
Saturday
TV Can Teach You Things
So today I faced a dilemma. I was pondering over whether I should take my first trip out of the country every with my dad on a business trip to Canada or if I should stay in Houston to help out as usual and remain on call for the guy I'm talking to when a thought popped in my head:
"What Would Lauren Do?" Lauren as in Lauren Conrad on the The Hills of course! The first season Lauren was offered a trip to Paris by Teen Vogue and she turned it down to be with her then-boyfriend Jason. I was aghast at her decision and regretted it for her so the minute that thought crossed my mind, I knew what I had to do.
I was going to Canada.
Of course I sent a sweet text to my sweetie asking if he'd be okay with my going since he's been have a rough go of it but he said he would and I'm excited about going.
Of course it will be cold. And yes, my plane ticket was outrageous given the late notice, but I finally get to go out of the country and even better, witness my dad on his first-ever plane ride. HOORAY!!
I pray all goes well until then.
"What Would Lauren Do?" Lauren as in Lauren Conrad on the The Hills of course! The first season Lauren was offered a trip to Paris by Teen Vogue and she turned it down to be with her then-boyfriend Jason. I was aghast at her decision and regretted it for her so the minute that thought crossed my mind, I knew what I had to do.
I was going to Canada.
Of course I sent a sweet text to my sweetie asking if he'd be okay with my going since he's been have a rough go of it but he said he would and I'm excited about going.
Of course it will be cold. And yes, my plane ticket was outrageous given the late notice, but I finally get to go out of the country and even better, witness my dad on his first-ever plane ride. HOORAY!!
I pray all goes well until then.
Friday
Double Standards Need Not Apply
Recently I had the opportunity to begin preliminary dating conversations with a young man I met while volunteering...
Initially when I saw him I thought he was a little immature and possibly dating someone else at his office so I kept my distance.
But he was always polite and when I found out he was a player for the ABA team I (briefly) volunteered for earlier this year, we talked and traded numbers with the intent to workout together.
A number of personal things happened in my life that prevented me from working out with him living at least 45 minutes away so we would keep in touch via text messages.
Finally one of us decided we should try to see if we could be more than friends. Let's just say his checklist looked good:
1. He knew what he wanted out of a relationship
2. He had a job and was looking for another opportunity that he enjoyed more.
3. He had a servant's heart--desiring a career as a fireman or police officer
4. He was my age
5. He was enrolled in grad school
6. He played basketball
But there were some xs on his list as well;
1. He didn't go to church (often)
2. He has a bad memory
3. He had a child.
I tried to go along with seeing where it could lead but I found that one thing I couldn't get over was his envoking a double standard.
I don't claim to have all the free time in the world, however my new life style is structured to where I can make time for anything I feel is important. The other night he said he didn't know if he could be in a relationship with someone "just as busy as him" because once he started to like someone he wanted to spend as much time with them as possible.
Are you serious? Is this not 2009? Do you realize that to find a woman who is okay with you having a child and a busy schedule, you probably don't want someone who has a lot of time on their hands??
At any rate when I stopped answering his text messages not long after that conversation, he began to text even more and finally he told me he didn't want to lead me on but that he'd starting getting serious with someone else.
I told him I appreciated his honesty and I hoped it worked out for him.
So that's 0/2 relationships in 2009 and 2/0 relationships ended via text message for me.
Let's see what the final three months bring.
Initially when I saw him I thought he was a little immature and possibly dating someone else at his office so I kept my distance.
But he was always polite and when I found out he was a player for the ABA team I (briefly) volunteered for earlier this year, we talked and traded numbers with the intent to workout together.
A number of personal things happened in my life that prevented me from working out with him living at least 45 minutes away so we would keep in touch via text messages.
Finally one of us decided we should try to see if we could be more than friends. Let's just say his checklist looked good:
1. He knew what he wanted out of a relationship
2. He had a job and was looking for another opportunity that he enjoyed more.
3. He had a servant's heart--desiring a career as a fireman or police officer
4. He was my age
5. He was enrolled in grad school
6. He played basketball
But there were some xs on his list as well;
1. He didn't go to church (often)
2. He has a bad memory
3. He had a child.
I tried to go along with seeing where it could lead but I found that one thing I couldn't get over was his envoking a double standard.
I don't claim to have all the free time in the world, however my new life style is structured to where I can make time for anything I feel is important. The other night he said he didn't know if he could be in a relationship with someone "just as busy as him" because once he started to like someone he wanted to spend as much time with them as possible.
Are you serious? Is this not 2009? Do you realize that to find a woman who is okay with you having a child and a busy schedule, you probably don't want someone who has a lot of time on their hands??
At any rate when I stopped answering his text messages not long after that conversation, he began to text even more and finally he told me he didn't want to lead me on but that he'd starting getting serious with someone else.
I told him I appreciated his honesty and I hoped it worked out for him.
So that's 0/2 relationships in 2009 and 2/0 relationships ended via text message for me.
Let's see what the final three months bring.
Monday
Dating Tips
In an attempt to catch up on "For the Love of Ray J" last week as I hustled and bustled to complete some actual work tasks, I left the channel on Vh1 and caught the first episode of a new dating show.
Thankfully this show doesn't promise lots of drunken fights and tongues down other people's throat so I left the TV on. The premise is that a male who comes from a family of successful multi-generational matchmakers will help a select group of women determine what they are doing wrong when it comes to dating men.
I thought some of his advice to the women and what they were seemingly (or in some cases obviously) doing wrong were valid and got a kick out of his dating rules that he dispenses throughout the show. Here are just a few he dispensed. Note, they never go in order during the show so you have to wonder if he really has a list or if he just randomly throws out numbers with advice...
I'm sure I see a book deal being thrown at him soon.
Dating Rules as told to viewers by matchmaker.
#1- Don’t be weird
#12 -Don’t go fishing for compliments- if a guy thinks you look good, he will tell you.
#19- There’s no room for hypocrisy in dating. If you won’t date guys older than you don’t expect guys to do the same.
#53 – Never bring wedding plans up on a first date- it makes a guy run
#71- most guys love a good catfight but no one wants to date the cat.
#76- I didn't remember this one by the time I started writing them down but if someone else knows, please share.
Editor's Note: While I do believe I will actually watch this show again, for the life of me I can't remember the name of the show or the "host" so if someone wants to clarify, feel free to clarify.
Thankfully this show doesn't promise lots of drunken fights and tongues down other people's throat so I left the TV on. The premise is that a male who comes from a family of successful multi-generational matchmakers will help a select group of women determine what they are doing wrong when it comes to dating men.
I thought some of his advice to the women and what they were seemingly (or in some cases obviously) doing wrong were valid and got a kick out of his dating rules that he dispenses throughout the show. Here are just a few he dispensed. Note, they never go in order during the show so you have to wonder if he really has a list or if he just randomly throws out numbers with advice...
I'm sure I see a book deal being thrown at him soon.
Dating Rules as told to viewers by matchmaker.
#1- Don’t be weird
#12 -Don’t go fishing for compliments- if a guy thinks you look good, he will tell you.
#19- There’s no room for hypocrisy in dating. If you won’t date guys older than you don’t expect guys to do the same.
#53 – Never bring wedding plans up on a first date- it makes a guy run
#71- most guys love a good catfight but no one wants to date the cat.
#76- I didn't remember this one by the time I started writing them down but if someone else knows, please share.
Editor's Note: While I do believe I will actually watch this show again, for the life of me I can't remember the name of the show or the "host" so if someone wants to clarify, feel free to clarify.
Thursday
The Wedding Bug
Today I met up with an old friend from high school.
Yep, I'm still searching for that circle of friends that I had when I first moved away. At first I'll admit I was being sexist and only wanted to find new male friends. But now I've decided that hanging out with chicks may do the trick.
I promised a friend from Nashville I'd hang out with one of her friends but kid you not every time I text her to see what she wants to do she says she has plans.
Then there's another girl I met from my volunteer gig with the ABA team. We got along good at the games and promised to hang out but the one we planned something she was sick and couldn't make it. The next time she reached out I had already made plans for the time she was available.
Last week when I hung out with a friend from college, we missed the movie we wanted to see but we had a great time catching up over dinner so it didn't matter. And we made tenative plans to watch the the Idris Elba & Beyonce movie when it comes out next month.
Still, a month is a long-time away so that led me to go back to my high school friend rolodex. Now here's something I may have said before but I'll reiterate quickly. I don't talk to anyone from high school if I can help it. The person I spoke with the most was the ex and now that that's over, there's no one other than my sister and her husband I speak with on a regular basis. Mostly it's because so many girls wanted the ex when we were in school that I made a lot of enemies because of our relationship. To this day I could not 100% tell you who from back then were my real friends so I'd rather leave them in the past.
However, there is one person who was a good friend and didn't want the ex. We were drum majors together and hung out outside the school walls so I reached out.
Today we had lunch and it was really great to see her again. She looks fabulous and is doing well for herself. Of course when the talk came to relationships she talked about hers and I began to get uncomfortable because this was really familiar territory.
She and her boyfriend-whom I think is probably one of the sweetest guys in the world and may actually deserve her- have been together for 7.5 years. They started dating in high school. She graduated a year after me and they began dating her senior year.
So after 7.5 CONSECUTIVE years, she is of course ready to get married. And while she doesn't want to tell him just how ready she is, she did tell me. Again and again.
I almost had deja vu of a luncheon I had with some girls in Nashville where they had actually begun planning one girl's wedding (she was 24) to a 39-year-old bachelor after six months of dating and (wait for it) BEFORE he had even proposed.
Needless to say, I was eating lunch at one of my favorite hot spots one day (and only 1-2 months later) and I saw her and the guy at what looked like a family gathering of sorts and she had a ring on her left finger. I called the friend who had invited me to meet the girl and she confirmed that yes, she was indeed engaged.
If you are ready for marriage, I'm not against it at all. BUT when you have people who aren't ready to get married themselves, please have mercy on their sanity and don't go on and on about the subject.
Based on a few things she shared I told her I wouldn't be surprised if he proposes in the very near future and that he may have the ring. I'm now convinced that when you've seriously broached the topic of marriage and the guy hasn't run from the conversations, chances are when they begin spending money on things you think are ludicrous or being evasive, they have the ring and they are waiting to put their master plan in action.
That's just my new theory based on all the stories my friends have told me. So, because I want her to be happy, I'll give her six months before he proposes. AND the next time we hang out, I think I might see if we can go to a movie. Preferably one where no one gets married.
Yep, I'm still searching for that circle of friends that I had when I first moved away. At first I'll admit I was being sexist and only wanted to find new male friends. But now I've decided that hanging out with chicks may do the trick.
I promised a friend from Nashville I'd hang out with one of her friends but kid you not every time I text her to see what she wants to do she says she has plans.
Then there's another girl I met from my volunteer gig with the ABA team. We got along good at the games and promised to hang out but the one we planned something she was sick and couldn't make it. The next time she reached out I had already made plans for the time she was available.
Last week when I hung out with a friend from college, we missed the movie we wanted to see but we had a great time catching up over dinner so it didn't matter. And we made tenative plans to watch the the Idris Elba & Beyonce movie when it comes out next month.
Still, a month is a long-time away so that led me to go back to my high school friend rolodex. Now here's something I may have said before but I'll reiterate quickly. I don't talk to anyone from high school if I can help it. The person I spoke with the most was the ex and now that that's over, there's no one other than my sister and her husband I speak with on a regular basis. Mostly it's because so many girls wanted the ex when we were in school that I made a lot of enemies because of our relationship. To this day I could not 100% tell you who from back then were my real friends so I'd rather leave them in the past.
However, there is one person who was a good friend and didn't want the ex. We were drum majors together and hung out outside the school walls so I reached out.
Today we had lunch and it was really great to see her again. She looks fabulous and is doing well for herself. Of course when the talk came to relationships she talked about hers and I began to get uncomfortable because this was really familiar territory.
She and her boyfriend-whom I think is probably one of the sweetest guys in the world and may actually deserve her- have been together for 7.5 years. They started dating in high school. She graduated a year after me and they began dating her senior year.
So after 7.5 CONSECUTIVE years, she is of course ready to get married. And while she doesn't want to tell him just how ready she is, she did tell me. Again and again.
I almost had deja vu of a luncheon I had with some girls in Nashville where they had actually begun planning one girl's wedding (she was 24) to a 39-year-old bachelor after six months of dating and (wait for it) BEFORE he had even proposed.
Needless to say, I was eating lunch at one of my favorite hot spots one day (and only 1-2 months later) and I saw her and the guy at what looked like a family gathering of sorts and she had a ring on her left finger. I called the friend who had invited me to meet the girl and she confirmed that yes, she was indeed engaged.
If you are ready for marriage, I'm not against it at all. BUT when you have people who aren't ready to get married themselves, please have mercy on their sanity and don't go on and on about the subject.
Based on a few things she shared I told her I wouldn't be surprised if he proposes in the very near future and that he may have the ring. I'm now convinced that when you've seriously broached the topic of marriage and the guy hasn't run from the conversations, chances are when they begin spending money on things you think are ludicrous or being evasive, they have the ring and they are waiting to put their master plan in action.
That's just my new theory based on all the stories my friends have told me. So, because I want her to be happy, I'll give her six months before he proposes. AND the next time we hang out, I think I might see if we can go to a movie. Preferably one where no one gets married.
Love, Love, Love
Tonight my heart is full. It wants to war within itself but I'm determined to take the positive road.
Mostly because I live with someone I LOVE dearly. Yep, that's right I've moved in...with my mom. And my dad's here too. LOL.
I'm talking about my mom tonight because even though she's spent most of this afternoon and tonight asking me all kinds of questions about iTunes, I am so happy to have her in my life.
A friend just lost his mom this week and when I offered my condolences today I realized I have no idea how that feels nor do I want to know how it feels to lose a parent.
When the questions started to annoy me, especially as I was beckoned into the other room every 5-7 minutes to look at the computer screen and try to figure out what wasn't working as I attempted to pack for my trip tomorrow (really, I kid you not--every 5-7 minutes) I remembered my friend's loss and said a prayer for him but also a prayer thanking God I still have my mom.
There's no doubt there's nothing but love here in this household. It's really tough sometimes but its also unconditional and that makes all the difference in the world.
Make sure you tell those you love how you feel and try not to let a loss be the reminder for you to do so.
Mostly because I live with someone I LOVE dearly. Yep, that's right I've moved in...with my mom. And my dad's here too. LOL.
I'm talking about my mom tonight because even though she's spent most of this afternoon and tonight asking me all kinds of questions about iTunes, I am so happy to have her in my life.
A friend just lost his mom this week and when I offered my condolences today I realized I have no idea how that feels nor do I want to know how it feels to lose a parent.
When the questions started to annoy me, especially as I was beckoned into the other room every 5-7 minutes to look at the computer screen and try to figure out what wasn't working as I attempted to pack for my trip tomorrow (really, I kid you not--every 5-7 minutes) I remembered my friend's loss and said a prayer for him but also a prayer thanking God I still have my mom.
There's no doubt there's nothing but love here in this household. It's really tough sometimes but its also unconditional and that makes all the difference in the world.
Make sure you tell those you love how you feel and try not to let a loss be the reminder for you to do so.
And the Quick & Savvy Pick-up line goes to...
So... today I had to give this guy credit. He came up with the best pick-up line I've ever heard in a while.
I was unassummingly pumping gas at the gas station and staring into the distance of the Wal-Mart parking lot when an SUV pulled up and blocked my view.
The window was rolled down and a guy stuck his head out the window to inquire about my name.
Knowing there was no way I'd give him my real name I gave him my assumed name. When spoken the name sounds like a letter and immediately guys think I'm blowing him off. So of course, he asked me what that stood for.
Because for some inherent reason I haven't quite figured out yet, I never really want guys to think I'm a total jerk even when I have every intention of blowing them off, I responded, it stands for nothing and spelled out the name letter by letter.
Brace yourself b/c I didn't see this one coming. He and his friend (aka the driver) nodded their head as he stated what a pretty name it was. Then he said, well, "Can I get your number so we can be friends to the E-N-D?"
I laughed, shook my head and told him I was taken but I have to be honest. If I weren't single, if he were driving AND if he didn't have a gold tooth (what is it about me and guys with gold teeth??) I may have relented and gave him my number. Scratch that, I would have given him part of my real number. I mean isn't it a shame how "one" can sometime sound like "nine"...Someone should look into that.
I was unassummingly pumping gas at the gas station and staring into the distance of the Wal-Mart parking lot when an SUV pulled up and blocked my view.
The window was rolled down and a guy stuck his head out the window to inquire about my name.
Knowing there was no way I'd give him my real name I gave him my assumed name. When spoken the name sounds like a letter and immediately guys think I'm blowing him off. So of course, he asked me what that stood for.
Because for some inherent reason I haven't quite figured out yet, I never really want guys to think I'm a total jerk even when I have every intention of blowing them off, I responded, it stands for nothing and spelled out the name letter by letter.
Brace yourself b/c I didn't see this one coming. He and his friend (aka the driver) nodded their head as he stated what a pretty name it was. Then he said, well, "Can I get your number so we can be friends to the E-N-D?"
I laughed, shook my head and told him I was taken but I have to be honest. If I weren't single, if he were driving AND if he didn't have a gold tooth (what is it about me and guys with gold teeth??) I may have relented and gave him my number. Scratch that, I would have given him part of my real number. I mean isn't it a shame how "one" can sometime sound like "nine"...Someone should look into that.
Monday
Dating 101 Part 2
Another article I found last night. Four signs He's Over You (and will break up with you). Read and watch for the signs. Knowledge is power!!
http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/24222/dating-101-four-signs-hes-over-you
http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/24222/dating-101-four-signs-hes-over-you
Something to ponder...
Here's an article I found last night. An article about why guys dump girls they really like. Something to ponder. LOL.
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/dating/guys-dump-girls?ha=1
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/dating/guys-dump-girls?ha=1
Thursday
For The Love of Ray J
What can I say about this show? This week I watched it and I spent half of my time amused and half of it appalled.
Ray J is obviously a wordsmith, putting together sentences that will go down in the VH1 hall of fame such as - "I don't like to be mind-boggled."
Seriously. He said it. I wish someone will tell him that's not the correct use of the word.
I was proud to see some girls got kicked off because they really wanted to advance their careers and they didn't really want/love Ray J. For some reason, that made the world a much better place for me.
Maybe one of my readers can enlighten me. Is there something I'm missing that makes women go gaga over him? Was it the final season on One on One? Or his portrayal of Dorian on Moesha?
Somebody. Anybody. Let me know.
(Silence).
Ok. Your silence speaks volumes. And what I read from it is that this is a show put here on earth mainly for my entertainment and to improve my self-esteem because there is no way I would get on television to act that way. Unless it was for Michael Ealy. I need not even defend myself for that one.
Ray J is obviously a wordsmith, putting together sentences that will go down in the VH1 hall of fame such as - "I don't like to be mind-boggled."
Seriously. He said it. I wish someone will tell him that's not the correct use of the word.
I was proud to see some girls got kicked off because they really wanted to advance their careers and they didn't really want/love Ray J. For some reason, that made the world a much better place for me.
Maybe one of my readers can enlighten me. Is there something I'm missing that makes women go gaga over him? Was it the final season on One on One? Or his portrayal of Dorian on Moesha?
Somebody. Anybody. Let me know.
(Silence).
Ok. Your silence speaks volumes. And what I read from it is that this is a show put here on earth mainly for my entertainment and to improve my self-esteem because there is no way I would get on television to act that way. Unless it was for Michael Ealy. I need not even defend myself for that one.
Friday
CREEPY!
Ok, so here's a tip to all my male readers. When you meet a woman and you're trying to gauze her age, if you are over the age of 24, DO NOT ask if she's just graduated from high school.
I know you think it's a compliment, but it's not. It makes you look creepy a few minutes later when she reveals her age and you state your actual age.
Sorry, I know we've made the rule where you can't ask our age--if you encounter me, I promise I'll tell you because you have a 50/50 chance I'm interested or not but a 100% chance I'll tell you if I'm not.
I promise.
I've had this happen to me at least twice, one more recently and I have to tell you, the whole encounter made me wonder if my free water* had anything like roofies in it and if at the end of the day, that guy would think that ordeal went well.
It didn't, on both accounts.
*Nothing is ever free in life. Remember this. That "free" water cost me 1.5 hours of talking to a guy I was in no way interested in but felt compelled to be nice to after he brought me some water!
I know you think it's a compliment, but it's not. It makes you look creepy a few minutes later when she reveals her age and you state your actual age.
Sorry, I know we've made the rule where you can't ask our age--if you encounter me, I promise I'll tell you because you have a 50/50 chance I'm interested or not but a 100% chance I'll tell you if I'm not.
I promise.
I've had this happen to me at least twice, one more recently and I have to tell you, the whole encounter made me wonder if my free water* had anything like roofies in it and if at the end of the day, that guy would think that ordeal went well.
It didn't, on both accounts.
*Nothing is ever free in life. Remember this. That "free" water cost me 1.5 hours of talking to a guy I was in no way interested in but felt compelled to be nice to after he brought me some water!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)