Old Flame, Try No Flame

Saturday I used 1 hour and 25 minutes of my time to catch up with my ex-boyfriend.

While my mother insists that it is good for me to be in communication with him and not hold a grudge for things that have since transpired, I think I get more annoyed with every conversation we have because he doesn't seem to want to fess up that he messed up BIG TIME and let the greatest thing in his life go.

But that's just the resentful side of me talking.

So during this conversation he repeated his question I neglected to answer of whom I went to the movies with the previous night before (it was Junior) and I once again didn't answer.

It wasn't that I was afraid to tell him, but that I didn't feel it was any of his business.

I think now that he faces deployment again in three months he's started reflecting again on how much I was there for him the last time but I honestly can't allow myself to do that again. Not only because it's selfish of him, but because I don't want to.

He is extremely interested in a pair of riding boots that I want to buy but are way too expensive for me to purchase. I refuse to buy them until I have money for my other important things that are coming up-say getting my brakes replaced on my truck. Two years ago when he was trying to get back into my life he bought me things to show he cared.

This time, I don't care and like a tree that's planted by the water, I shall not be moved. LOL. But honestly, I don't want anything else from him because I don't want him to think he has a chance.

I can't believe he had the nerve to talk about what he wanted to do in the future and how he would bring his kids over to my house. I told him I thought he would need to check with his wife first because she probably wouldn't appreciate it. And besides I said, I'm not going to be around like that in the future. I'm not going to be that girl they have to explain who shows up at family holiday events.

I'm not sure if he got my point. He's usually clueless so he doesn't. But I will keep my heart guarded from him while keeping my mom's advice in mind.

He is afterall going to Afghanistan.