A few months ago I attended a funeral of a great man who lost his life to cancer. This man coached t-ball with my father for several years and throughout that time our families became close. Of course as life went on and all of us kids were too old for the t-ball scene, we drifted apart except for the occasional run-in at church or community events.
At the funeral his son (we'll call him Jr. for future purposes) gave a beautiful speech on behalf of the family. His words about his father were loving and honest. It was heart-breaking but inspiring. After the funeral. I approached Jr. to tell him what a great job he did. It of course took him a few seconds to recognize me but not too long.I thought I was mistaken but when I prepared to leave I thought he held on to my hand a little longer than normal as if he wanted to say something else but refrained given the location and other people surrounding us.
It turns out-he did.
I ran into Jr. yesterday as I walking into the mall and he was departing. Unsure if it was him I called his name and then reintroduced myself (I cut my hair by several inches since our last encounter). Within minutes I found myself giving my number to him on the pretense that we would hang out soon to "catch up."
Several text messages later that night he revealed that he always had a crush on me so he was happy he ran into me again. Humble as I am I asked him was he sure he didn't mean my older sis with whom everyone was in love with. But he said he was sure it was me which I believe since we are the same age.
I must admit flattery does work well on my ego especially when it appears sincere.
It's thanksgiving and he's already called twice to see how the day is going and whether I feel up to hanging out. Unfortunately I'm bushed so I only feel like getting the bed now but tomorrow is another day and another chance -perhaps a seconf chance to get it right.
Monday
Gym candy
Aside from Goldie, I must admit I do have a good time at the gym passing my prescribed 40-minutes of cardio on the treadmill by looking at all the guys.
There's a good mix of ethnicities who work out in our gym, so I can get the best of all countries as I sweat. Not one of my more attractive qualities, but it happens so if I do pick someone up at the gym, they'll at least know what they are getting... But back to my point.
I'm starting to believe the more times I see people the more attractive they become. There's one guy in particular who just gets cuter every day I see him.
Admittedly, I did change my workout schedule to some mid-days so I could watch him workout and play basketball (YUM! My weakness...) but lately my training has been more rigorous and time-consuming and I haven't seen him as much.
I'm happy (and sad) to report I'm not the only woman who feels this guy looks good. I pointed him out to a friend and my sister and they both agree. Lucky for me my sister is married, my friend however is not. I know if she agrees then there are some other girls who agree and may have a better chance.
Truth be told, I'm actually incredibly shy when it comes to approaching men romantically, so all I'm looking for is mild and mindless entertainment of watching him workout and maybe the occasional hello.
But should anything develop in the future, I will continue to watch my form on my squats and continue color-coordinating my workout clothes.
There's a good mix of ethnicities who work out in our gym, so I can get the best of all countries as I sweat. Not one of my more attractive qualities, but it happens so if I do pick someone up at the gym, they'll at least know what they are getting... But back to my point.
I'm starting to believe the more times I see people the more attractive they become. There's one guy in particular who just gets cuter every day I see him.
Admittedly, I did change my workout schedule to some mid-days so I could watch him workout and play basketball (YUM! My weakness...) but lately my training has been more rigorous and time-consuming and I haven't seen him as much.
I'm happy (and sad) to report I'm not the only woman who feels this guy looks good. I pointed him out to a friend and my sister and they both agree. Lucky for me my sister is married, my friend however is not. I know if she agrees then there are some other girls who agree and may have a better chance.
Truth be told, I'm actually incredibly shy when it comes to approaching men romantically, so all I'm looking for is mild and mindless entertainment of watching him workout and maybe the occasional hello.
But should anything develop in the future, I will continue to watch my form on my squats and continue color-coordinating my workout clothes.
You godda be kiddin me
I have a friend who told me she goes on multiple dates a day with guys she doesn't like. She said these guys even buy her things just "because."
I had trouble believing this information and I'm not entirely sure why, but I think I figured it out a few weeks ago. It has everything to do with my time and who I believe or deem worthy of having it.
I'm a single woman, who works for herself, works out at least two hours a day and currently needs to study for a test at least two hours a day, and let's not forget I like to get 8 hours of sleep as often as possible. So that is at least 20 hours of my day which means I only have four left. Not much time at all so I like to spend it wisely.
The last time I went to a mall was on a vacation the first week in October- we are now in the last week in November. I hadn't seen a movie since early summer-I believe Wolverine....
Because I spend a lot of time in the gym, I see several people regularly. This includes guys. And according to my trainer, a female who works out a lot is very attractive to men who do the same.
Recently I was approached by a guy who asked me if I'd like to hang out some time. Once again, I'm still on the mission to find a new male best friend, so I told him I'd think about it. I feel this opportunity will keep me from every considering any offer from a guy at the gym again. Here's all the badlights:
1. He has two gold teeth- I love my cousins with gold teeth, but I'd like them to see just like he should that gold teeth are NEVER appropriate.
2. As he asked for my number he flipped open his phone and there is a picture of a woman with large breasts...
3. He starts to come up and try to hold a long conversation whenever we are in the gym at the same time. I like to stay focused and usually try to get in and out of the gym as fast as I can.
4. In the first and only phone conversation we have he admits that he cheats on his driver's log books. As the daughter of parents with an honest trucking company-this doesn't sit well.
5. He says he doesn't go to church a lot... And tries to make me seem rude by my saying this is an issue FOR ME!
6. He loiters in the pool area as i do my laps - I can actually see him standing in the steam room staring at me. WEIRDO!!
7. His small talk is intellectually annoying. Yes, I go to the gym, but I've also told you I am studying for a test for grad school and yet all you really want to know about me is how many days a week I go to the gym??? Or how tired I was after spin class?
8. This was the kicker: The one time I decided to go out in public, he shows up with two big gold hoop earrings in each ear (possibly two total earrings in each ear but I couldn't bring myself to look) and wears sunglasses in the movie theatre.
REALLY BRUH? You are that cool? Right... I can't tell you how embarrassed I was for him- a 30-year old with gold teeth and big gold hoop earrings, much less myself for being seen in public with him. He insisted beforehand that he would pay for my movie ticket and after his wardrobe malfunctions, I decided I would let him. Because no way was I going to pay my own way to be seen with someone who looked like he did.
So the two hours of my time at the movie theatre with him was not at all equal to the $5.50 matinee price of my movie ticket but I did learn a lot from the experience. AND if any of the guys who approaches my friend are like that, I can see why she'd let them pay, but I can't say I'd continue to spend time with them if I don't like them.
I had trouble believing this information and I'm not entirely sure why, but I think I figured it out a few weeks ago. It has everything to do with my time and who I believe or deem worthy of having it.
I'm a single woman, who works for herself, works out at least two hours a day and currently needs to study for a test at least two hours a day, and let's not forget I like to get 8 hours of sleep as often as possible. So that is at least 20 hours of my day which means I only have four left. Not much time at all so I like to spend it wisely.
The last time I went to a mall was on a vacation the first week in October- we are now in the last week in November. I hadn't seen a movie since early summer-I believe Wolverine....
Because I spend a lot of time in the gym, I see several people regularly. This includes guys. And according to my trainer, a female who works out a lot is very attractive to men who do the same.
Recently I was approached by a guy who asked me if I'd like to hang out some time. Once again, I'm still on the mission to find a new male best friend, so I told him I'd think about it. I feel this opportunity will keep me from every considering any offer from a guy at the gym again. Here's all the badlights:
1. He has two gold teeth- I love my cousins with gold teeth, but I'd like them to see just like he should that gold teeth are NEVER appropriate.
2. As he asked for my number he flipped open his phone and there is a picture of a woman with large breasts...
3. He starts to come up and try to hold a long conversation whenever we are in the gym at the same time. I like to stay focused and usually try to get in and out of the gym as fast as I can.
4. In the first and only phone conversation we have he admits that he cheats on his driver's log books. As the daughter of parents with an honest trucking company-this doesn't sit well.
5. He says he doesn't go to church a lot... And tries to make me seem rude by my saying this is an issue FOR ME!
6. He loiters in the pool area as i do my laps - I can actually see him standing in the steam room staring at me. WEIRDO!!
7. His small talk is intellectually annoying. Yes, I go to the gym, but I've also told you I am studying for a test for grad school and yet all you really want to know about me is how many days a week I go to the gym??? Or how tired I was after spin class?
8. This was the kicker: The one time I decided to go out in public, he shows up with two big gold hoop earrings in each ear (possibly two total earrings in each ear but I couldn't bring myself to look) and wears sunglasses in the movie theatre.
REALLY BRUH? You are that cool? Right... I can't tell you how embarrassed I was for him- a 30-year old with gold teeth and big gold hoop earrings, much less myself for being seen in public with him. He insisted beforehand that he would pay for my movie ticket and after his wardrobe malfunctions, I decided I would let him. Because no way was I going to pay my own way to be seen with someone who looked like he did.
So the two hours of my time at the movie theatre with him was not at all equal to the $5.50 matinee price of my movie ticket but I did learn a lot from the experience. AND if any of the guys who approaches my friend are like that, I can see why she'd let them pay, but I can't say I'd continue to spend time with them if I don't like them.
EVERYDAY?
Recent events in Texas led me to reach out my military ex to ensure he was okay. We've become more friendly since this summer but still I keep communication limited to about once a month because after our break-up other than lots of mean and sarcastic things, I haven't found myself with much to say to him.
But, the night before a tragic event at his base, I followed through on the urge to email him and let him know my feelings about how and why I handled our breakup. I was polite but firm and essentially said that I was working on becoming his friend again.
The next day, my mom told me tragedy happened so I sent him a text to make sure he was okay. Now he's been texting or calling everyday since and I'm just a tad annoyed.
I'm not one to sweep anything under the rug and pretend that there isn't a small, but present, chip on my shoulder over the way he handled things. He's facing another deployment to Iraq in the spring --the thing that brought us together the last time.
But this time, I'm firm on my position of only remaining friends with him. For some reason, while he's never cheated on me or done anything that would be deemed unforgivable I can't allow myself to let him back into my life and give as much as I have in the past.
In recent weeks, I've been the go-to-go girl for two of my exes dealing with crises and I realized that's what they expect from me. My role has always been to be the supportive, caring and over-accommodating girlfriend/friend who gives everything without demanding anything in return.
The problem for them is, now that I've read this awesome book on Biblical boundaries, I know that I should get reciprocal love and I won't settle for anything else.
So what I would have considered cute and a sign that he was back into me a year ago, I now know is his selfishness to cultivate a relationship only when he's ready for one and I don't think I have the time to devote to it.
It may sound cold, but as Lady Antebellum said "Love Don't Live Here Anymore."
But, the night before a tragic event at his base, I followed through on the urge to email him and let him know my feelings about how and why I handled our breakup. I was polite but firm and essentially said that I was working on becoming his friend again.
The next day, my mom told me tragedy happened so I sent him a text to make sure he was okay. Now he's been texting or calling everyday since and I'm just a tad annoyed.
I'm not one to sweep anything under the rug and pretend that there isn't a small, but present, chip on my shoulder over the way he handled things. He's facing another deployment to Iraq in the spring --the thing that brought us together the last time.
But this time, I'm firm on my position of only remaining friends with him. For some reason, while he's never cheated on me or done anything that would be deemed unforgivable I can't allow myself to let him back into my life and give as much as I have in the past.
In recent weeks, I've been the go-to-go girl for two of my exes dealing with crises and I realized that's what they expect from me. My role has always been to be the supportive, caring and over-accommodating girlfriend/friend who gives everything without demanding anything in return.
The problem for them is, now that I've read this awesome book on Biblical boundaries, I know that I should get reciprocal love and I won't settle for anything else.
So what I would have considered cute and a sign that he was back into me a year ago, I now know is his selfishness to cultivate a relationship only when he's ready for one and I don't think I have the time to devote to it.
It may sound cold, but as Lady Antebellum said "Love Don't Live Here Anymore."
"Keep It Moving"
Apparently this was my ex-boyfriend's choice phrase for telling other guys who were interested in me (with or without my knowledge). Truth be told, he never let me know how he felt about me, but my sneaking suspicion of him having some role in the disappearance of guys I danced with or talked to at parties.
The other night I was finally able to get him to fess up and the funny part is, I wasn't even mad. In fact, I just laughed at finally being able to confirm what I thought all along.
I mean, really how many years does it take to admit that you tapped a guy I was dancing with while we were "on a break" and pulled him aside and told him I was off limits? In our case, apparently 7.
Truth be told, none of the guys that I know he dismissed have amounted to anything so it was probably for the best. And as he explained how he approached each situation, I learned that more people in college knew he had feelings for me than I expected. So on some level at that point in time, while he couldn't express his feelings to me, he let others know.
So for the sake of closure, I can now put my mind to rest on what happened to those three guys in particular and move on with my life hoping he's not the reason some other guys have disappeared in more recent years...
The other night I was finally able to get him to fess up and the funny part is, I wasn't even mad. In fact, I just laughed at finally being able to confirm what I thought all along.
I mean, really how many years does it take to admit that you tapped a guy I was dancing with while we were "on a break" and pulled him aside and told him I was off limits? In our case, apparently 7.
Truth be told, none of the guys that I know he dismissed have amounted to anything so it was probably for the best. And as he explained how he approached each situation, I learned that more people in college knew he had feelings for me than I expected. So on some level at that point in time, while he couldn't express his feelings to me, he let others know.
So for the sake of closure, I can now put my mind to rest on what happened to those three guys in particular and move on with my life hoping he's not the reason some other guys have disappeared in more recent years...
I smell trouble
Saturday I had the great opportunity to hang out with some people my age who participate in a local service organization. We spent the morning doing community service and I've had two additional meetings to observe their behavior so I decided to accept their invite to hang out later. After all, I'm still on the mission to find another really good guy friend...
Turns out the party, which had I been forewarned was being thrown under the guise of "whatever happens, happens," was extremely fun.
I felt that the people were my equals intellectually and in terms satisfaction of geeky entertainment.
There was one disturbing part to the night however, and that was my attraction to a guy who has actually been nice since we met a few weeks ago. We'll call him Mr. Banker. Coincidentally, the night before my second meeting, he attended an MBA event and while we never spoke that night, we saw each other and recognized one another the next day. So we traded information and called. He was extremely chatty and I was myself. He invited me to a fight party that his friend was throwing and then added that he would be attending with "his girl."
I didn't mind that admission (ok, so I did a little because he seems very promising) but I was unable to make the party that weekend because I had previous plans.
When I arrived at the party on Saturday, I was sure his girlfriend would be in attendance so I played it cool on talking to him until he would introduce her to me.
The introduction didn't happen before we all played "Truth or Dare Jenga" so I found it safe to assume she wasn't there when he was dared to "rub noses with another player" and chose me. I was embarrassed, awkward and therefore thankful the picture another player decided to snap did not catch the action. Equally mortifying was when I picked the piece that instructed me to "blow a rasberry on another player's stomach" and he choose to explain what that was to the entire group so that I could do it. I declined and opted to blow a kiss to our gracious host.
The best part of that game was when the girl next to me knocked over the tower. Of course then, that led us to Mr. Banker's game of "questions." Previously we were instructed to write down a question on a scrap of paper and put it in a bowl. The bowl was shaken and each person would remove a question and ask it to the group.
The questions were surprisingly (to me anyway) mostly about relationships so I then learned more than I probably would have cared to know, but am happy I did about Mr. Banker and women.
In the end, I decided he was handsome, had tremendous potential, but was too much of a player, had too much "experience"-in fact the term "slutbag" really came to mind first- and therefore would be more trouble than he's worth.
Isn't that the way it always is? I'm glad that despite the attraction, I'm happy to see my progress in spotting a man who would bring me trouble before it all goes down. Maybe I have learned something this year after all.
Turns out the party, which had I been forewarned was being thrown under the guise of "whatever happens, happens," was extremely fun.
I felt that the people were my equals intellectually and in terms satisfaction of geeky entertainment.
There was one disturbing part to the night however, and that was my attraction to a guy who has actually been nice since we met a few weeks ago. We'll call him Mr. Banker. Coincidentally, the night before my second meeting, he attended an MBA event and while we never spoke that night, we saw each other and recognized one another the next day. So we traded information and called. He was extremely chatty and I was myself. He invited me to a fight party that his friend was throwing and then added that he would be attending with "his girl."
I didn't mind that admission (ok, so I did a little because he seems very promising) but I was unable to make the party that weekend because I had previous plans.
When I arrived at the party on Saturday, I was sure his girlfriend would be in attendance so I played it cool on talking to him until he would introduce her to me.
The introduction didn't happen before we all played "Truth or Dare Jenga" so I found it safe to assume she wasn't there when he was dared to "rub noses with another player" and chose me. I was embarrassed, awkward and therefore thankful the picture another player decided to snap did not catch the action. Equally mortifying was when I picked the piece that instructed me to "blow a rasberry on another player's stomach" and he choose to explain what that was to the entire group so that I could do it. I declined and opted to blow a kiss to our gracious host.
The best part of that game was when the girl next to me knocked over the tower. Of course then, that led us to Mr. Banker's game of "questions." Previously we were instructed to write down a question on a scrap of paper and put it in a bowl. The bowl was shaken and each person would remove a question and ask it to the group.
The questions were surprisingly (to me anyway) mostly about relationships so I then learned more than I probably would have cared to know, but am happy I did about Mr. Banker and women.
In the end, I decided he was handsome, had tremendous potential, but was too much of a player, had too much "experience"-in fact the term "slutbag" really came to mind first- and therefore would be more trouble than he's worth.
Isn't that the way it always is? I'm glad that despite the attraction, I'm happy to see my progress in spotting a man who would bring me trouble before it all goes down. Maybe I have learned something this year after all.
Saturday
TV Can Teach You Things
So today I faced a dilemma. I was pondering over whether I should take my first trip out of the country every with my dad on a business trip to Canada or if I should stay in Houston to help out as usual and remain on call for the guy I'm talking to when a thought popped in my head:
"What Would Lauren Do?" Lauren as in Lauren Conrad on the The Hills of course! The first season Lauren was offered a trip to Paris by Teen Vogue and she turned it down to be with her then-boyfriend Jason. I was aghast at her decision and regretted it for her so the minute that thought crossed my mind, I knew what I had to do.
I was going to Canada.
Of course I sent a sweet text to my sweetie asking if he'd be okay with my going since he's been have a rough go of it but he said he would and I'm excited about going.
Of course it will be cold. And yes, my plane ticket was outrageous given the late notice, but I finally get to go out of the country and even better, witness my dad on his first-ever plane ride. HOORAY!!
I pray all goes well until then.
"What Would Lauren Do?" Lauren as in Lauren Conrad on the The Hills of course! The first season Lauren was offered a trip to Paris by Teen Vogue and she turned it down to be with her then-boyfriend Jason. I was aghast at her decision and regretted it for her so the minute that thought crossed my mind, I knew what I had to do.
I was going to Canada.
Of course I sent a sweet text to my sweetie asking if he'd be okay with my going since he's been have a rough go of it but he said he would and I'm excited about going.
Of course it will be cold. And yes, my plane ticket was outrageous given the late notice, but I finally get to go out of the country and even better, witness my dad on his first-ever plane ride. HOORAY!!
I pray all goes well until then.
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