Yep, that was a reference for The Graduate. Last weekend was full of highs and lows given that my lowest part was being comforted by a friend as I cried because of the drama going on with The Graduate.
I'll try to spare everyone the details but I will say despite having a conversation just two hours earlier (if that long) about how much better he was doing and how he missed me as a friend, he threw that all away with a few drinks.
I finally confessed to our close friend who I had to get to help me what was going on with him and why we weren't together. He was shocked - I can still see the look on his face from when I shared all the dark truths and pain that I'd endured over the last year. He was so sweet and just comforting. I am so happy for his wife because I know sometimes we as women just need a man to listen and give us an uplifting word.
I'm sure if Pro had gone to the party he would have made me leave the situation and he would have never forgiven The Graduate for causing a scene. In my heart, I'm still so torn about the whole thing. It's amazing how when things seem so familiar and are easy to fall into, you can get a quick dose of reality that all isn't well and that it's best to keep your distance.
I didn't realize how much I'd compartmentalized all my feelings until that night and honestly, the tears have started to return. If I could have my friend back, I would be happy but I know that that honestly isn't possible. He's still sick and he can't be a friend or anything and I can't get sucked back in if it means taking care of him and not myself.
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