More than enough patience
Ok, so as I promised I would elaborate on why I don't want to hear another "brotha" say that "sistas" don't give them a chance.
I have tried to give the guys in Knoxville and the surrounding counties a chance.
Example 1:
My boss decides to fix me up on a date. Sure, I've seen this guy around town, specifically at church, and I wasn't too interested but hey, you can't judge a book by its cover right? Well, yes and no. I should have gone with my first instinct.
He was nice and good looking in a way but he was also older. Yes, he liked to plan events and give me options, but he also said things like "Brother from another mother"... No, your eyes are not deceiving you. You read that right.
And finally, he was educated, but then he neglected to tell me that he had a son! Yes, in the words of one my good friends, 'a person.'
And that was the end of that relatinoship.
Example 2:
"Brother guy" drunkenly tries to hook me up with his brother. After I get an earful of why I should give his brother a chance, I decide to exchange numbers with him.
Things start off great. He even texts later that night to make sure my friends and I get home safely from our outing that evening. I start to think maybe I should really give him a chance.
Weeks pass and nothing from him. It's fine because I'm busy and wasn't that interested anyway.
AND THEN. The test. Although it really wasn't. One of his selling points was that whenever I spent a weekend in Nashville, he would show me around.
Since I'm always in Nashville and never have time to meet friends, I was particularly happy when I did find time this summer. I called to let him know I was in town and it took him two days to get back to me. He offered a few un-sound opportunities to hang out and I found myself going to bed early or working late due to us not meeting up.
And before you start, note that I did call him on Saturday to try to finalize plans and he didn't return my call.
Three weeks later he shows up at a party in Knoxville with a girl whom I assume looks like the girl who was on his phone's wallpaper when we exchanged numbers.
Example 3:
I met two black guys at a volunteer opportunity. They were only in town for a few days and wanted to know what black people do in Knoxvile. Not surprisingly, they didn't believe me when I told them there was nothing to do.
I felt bad and considered showing them a little southern hospitality and exchanged numbers with one guy. He was nice and event though he was older I still thought he might be good for one of my friends.
I'm firm believer that if the guy isn't for me, there might be a friend he's great for.
Again, things started out good. He would send good morning texts and liked talking on the phone. Not a bad catch. Then one night, his ugly side showed. Or shall I say smelled.
And all I can say is I can never understand a guy who will let substances get in between them and their work. I can't do it. I won't do it.
So, there you have it. Three examples of a sista giving a brotha a chance and them not stepping up to the plate.
Editor's note: I've moved to Nashville and based on principle refused to call the second guy in the story. ALTHOUGH I may call him to see if he can help me move-I'll pay of course.
Monday
Previous Post 1
Guys want to have their cake and Blue Bell too
Ok, so yeah I was a little hungry when I came up with that expression but lately it has been become very appropriate for the guys I've encountered.
These aren't the average men you think of when you hear about men who cheat on girlfriends or talk to multiple women at a time. No, these men are sweet, caring, have jobs, college degrees and who knows what else that make them the cream of the crop.
It's probably those things that help them realize they are indeed the cream of the crop and therefore, they know they can get any, or in this case, as many, women as they want.
Essentially, they want their cake (their main squeeze, girlfriend, wife, whatver, etc.) and Blue Bell too.
A few months ago a male friend/associate sent me an email containing the four women in every "players" life. There was the wifey, baby girl, side piece and the jump off.
I immediately though back to the relationship I had just gotten out of. I was obviously the wifey...or was I? I mean I had all the makings of the wifey: independent, loving...the one the man always came back to when he was wrong...
But then I thought about the reason we broke up. Or shall I say the person? Could I have thought I was the wifey but instead I was just baby girl? The one he kept on reserve in case the true wifey messed up.
And then I realized that in the case of two men locally I was obviously the side piece. The person they got along with and could see themselves with but never truly acted on it. In one case I KNEW he had an on-again off-again relationship but didn't care about it until they became engaged. That was a line I could not cross. And I didn't, buthe tried to.
And when he got really desperate, he tried to peddle his brother off on me. That match-making incident didn't turn out too well. It's amazing, because if I ever hear another brother say sistas don't give brothas a chance, I'm going off. But I'll go into more detail on that in a later post.
And then there was my favorite. The guy from my hometown who really put a smile on my face and a flutter in my stomach whenever I saw him. When brother guy a got engaged earlier this year, I thought for sure that it was a sign that hometown guy and I would have a chance.
NEGATIVE.
Today after several months of random text message exchanges and a full three hours of talking last week he drops the bomb on me that he has a girlfriend. No, wait. a "girl."
Note to men reading: stop being lazy. Add the word friend to the word girl. She's your girlfriend. If you decide to commit to her, you should commit to calling her your girlfriend.
And to the engaged dudes- call your fiance your fiance. She's no longer your girlfriend, she's YOUR FUTURE WIFE! (yes that was for brother guy).
But back to the story. The guy drops this bomb on me and he is going to her folks' anniversary celebration. That means he's in DEEP. And that he just wanted to have his cake and Blue Bell too-and that expression is extremely appropriate since we have the same hometown.
I'm sick of this. I gotta get out of here. And soon.
Editors Note: I just love the title of this entry. Especially considering I just bought more Blue Bell ice cream this weekend-sorry I just can't get off "the stuff."
Ok, so yeah I was a little hungry when I came up with that expression but lately it has been become very appropriate for the guys I've encountered.
These aren't the average men you think of when you hear about men who cheat on girlfriends or talk to multiple women at a time. No, these men are sweet, caring, have jobs, college degrees and who knows what else that make them the cream of the crop.
It's probably those things that help them realize they are indeed the cream of the crop and therefore, they know they can get any, or in this case, as many, women as they want.
Essentially, they want their cake (their main squeeze, girlfriend, wife, whatver, etc.) and Blue Bell too.
A few months ago a male friend/associate sent me an email containing the four women in every "players" life. There was the wifey, baby girl, side piece and the jump off.
I immediately though back to the relationship I had just gotten out of. I was obviously the wifey...or was I? I mean I had all the makings of the wifey: independent, loving...the one the man always came back to when he was wrong...
But then I thought about the reason we broke up. Or shall I say the person? Could I have thought I was the wifey but instead I was just baby girl? The one he kept on reserve in case the true wifey messed up.
And then I realized that in the case of two men locally I was obviously the side piece. The person they got along with and could see themselves with but never truly acted on it. In one case I KNEW he had an on-again off-again relationship but didn't care about it until they became engaged. That was a line I could not cross. And I didn't, buthe tried to.
And when he got really desperate, he tried to peddle his brother off on me. That match-making incident didn't turn out too well. It's amazing, because if I ever hear another brother say sistas don't give brothas a chance, I'm going off. But I'll go into more detail on that in a later post.
And then there was my favorite. The guy from my hometown who really put a smile on my face and a flutter in my stomach whenever I saw him. When brother guy a got engaged earlier this year, I thought for sure that it was a sign that hometown guy and I would have a chance.
NEGATIVE.
Today after several months of random text message exchanges and a full three hours of talking last week he drops the bomb on me that he has a girlfriend. No, wait. a "girl."
Note to men reading: stop being lazy. Add the word friend to the word girl. She's your girlfriend. If you decide to commit to her, you should commit to calling her your girlfriend.
And to the engaged dudes- call your fiance your fiance. She's no longer your girlfriend, she's YOUR FUTURE WIFE! (yes that was for brother guy).
But back to the story. The guy drops this bomb on me and he is going to her folks' anniversary celebration. That means he's in DEEP. And that he just wanted to have his cake and Blue Bell too-and that expression is extremely appropriate since we have the same hometown.
I'm sick of this. I gotta get out of here. And soon.
Editors Note: I just love the title of this entry. Especially considering I just bought more Blue Bell ice cream this weekend-sorry I just can't get off "the stuff."
Pardon the repetition
But in the interest of entertaining my dedicated readers, I'm bringing back some posts from a previous (and unknown) blog that I think will lighten the mood.
I'm too tired to edit so please forgive any typos.
Happy reading!
I'm too tired to edit so please forgive any typos.
Happy reading!
Thursday
I would be remiss
If I didn't mention the "Sex and The City" movie premiere tomorrow.
I want to go within two hours BUT I'm actually house-sitting/dog-sitting and I can't leave the dog unattended.
So I'll settle for the comedic spoof on The Daily Show until I can watching it tomorrow.
I've hit a little obsession with the movie. Reading every article about it, analyzing the trailers, looking at any footage, story, etc. about it just to find out as much as I can.
It's just ridiculous. And knowing that the movie promotes things I as a single Christiam woman shouldn't support, I think this might be my last encounter with the show. I need to see how it ends (doesn't that sound like any Christian on the edge) and then I'll let it go.
Besides, I'm getting hooked on reruns of "A Different World" anyway. The show is like old wine that gets better with age. Ok, maybe not really but it is fun looking at the show and seeing the fashions and being thankful I don't have any pictures with me wearing clothes that are as embarassing as the characters. Besides, that's the only time I'll turn on BET again.
I want to go within two hours BUT I'm actually house-sitting/dog-sitting and I can't leave the dog unattended.
So I'll settle for the comedic spoof on The Daily Show until I can watching it tomorrow.
I've hit a little obsession with the movie. Reading every article about it, analyzing the trailers, looking at any footage, story, etc. about it just to find out as much as I can.
It's just ridiculous. And knowing that the movie promotes things I as a single Christiam woman shouldn't support, I think this might be my last encounter with the show. I need to see how it ends (doesn't that sound like any Christian on the edge) and then I'll let it go.
Besides, I'm getting hooked on reruns of "A Different World" anyway. The show is like old wine that gets better with age. Ok, maybe not really but it is fun looking at the show and seeing the fashions and being thankful I don't have any pictures with me wearing clothes that are as embarassing as the characters. Besides, that's the only time I'll turn on BET again.
Saturday
I'm really happy for them
Last night my friend, lets call him "Shawty" got engaged. I know because he sent me a text message saying so.
I was expecting it to happen soon, after all I had seen the ring over a month ago so the minute I heard the news, even though my relationship is on hiatus, I was happy for him.
Who can't be happy when one of your favorite people has found the person they want to spend forever with and that person agrees?
Shawty and his new fiancee found each other through family members (on both of their accounts) and they did the long-distance thing for about two years.
I've watched how their relationship has matured, each sacrificing and making the effort to see each other every two months (or more). Meeting each other's families. Throughout the journey they learned a lot about each other, things they loved and things they didn't love, but at this moment, they obviously love each other enough to learn more and spend the rest of their lives together.
Congrats and best wishes to you both... I can't wait to attend the wedding!!
I was expecting it to happen soon, after all I had seen the ring over a month ago so the minute I heard the news, even though my relationship is on hiatus, I was happy for him.
Who can't be happy when one of your favorite people has found the person they want to spend forever with and that person agrees?
Shawty and his new fiancee found each other through family members (on both of their accounts) and they did the long-distance thing for about two years.
I've watched how their relationship has matured, each sacrificing and making the effort to see each other every two months (or more). Meeting each other's families. Throughout the journey they learned a lot about each other, things they loved and things they didn't love, but at this moment, they obviously love each other enough to learn more and spend the rest of their lives together.
Congrats and best wishes to you both... I can't wait to attend the wedding!!
Best Relationship on TV
Last night I discovered a great truth. The best relationship on television is on the MTV show Rob & Big.
Before you laugh look at all the "truths" the pairing of Rob Dydrek and Christopher "Big Black" Boykins represent:
1. Opposites attract- Rob is a skinny, white male who enjoys skateboarding and pranks while Big Black is an double plus-sized black man, whose job is to protect Rob for a living... Rob makes most of his money on merchandising and Big finally got into the merchandising game to help pad his money...
2. They are considerate of each other- WHen Big and another of his plus-size friend could no longer ride in the front of their SUV together because there wasn't enough room, Rob purchased a new, larger truck. And when Big complained that Rob didn't know what it meant to be a big man, Rob walked in his shirt, pants and shoes (literally) for a day by donning a fat suit that put Tyra Banks to shame. After experiencing the stares and the exhaustion that comes with doing menial tasks, Rob showed his appreciation of Big's trials by installing a lush toilet that accomodated the big man better than a regular size toilet.
3. They support each other- Big is your typical cut-and-dry guy who deals with the world as it is presented and does what it takes to fix a problem in a practical matter. Rob, on the other hand, is a dreamer, he's on the edge and wants to try new things that are more often than not outlandish, but Big goes along with every scheme Rob wants to try to fix an easy solution. Blow a lot of money on the lotto, because you've had a dream that you'll win, sure why not. Hire a demonologist because you think a statue is haunted. Go right ahead. In the end, you really just need an exterminator and Big's right there to call.
4. They want nothing but the best for each other- When Rob was having problems finding a girl, Big honestly told him he needed to date a different type of girl. And proceeded to do a dating search for his roommate. Now, Rob rigged the search, and in the end was left with the same disappointment that he had after his other dates, but at least his friend loved him enough to be honest and help him do something about his problem.
5. You can feel the love between them- Whenever you watch the show, you can tell love is present. Their family and friends visit regularly, and Rob's cousin/personal assistant Drama also stays with the duo. Now, how many people do you know visit people with crappy relationships. No one wants to hang around a fighting couple and you never see these two fight. Their adventures are entertaining and you can't wait to see what else they will discover together.
Yes, I know Rob & Big is mostly staged, but it is by far the best relationship that I have seen on television in the past year. I'm sad that the season will end (has ended but I haven't seen the episode yet..) after Big becomes a father, but I enjoyed watching his and Rob's relationship strengthen through the years but as they say, all good things come to an end.
Before you laugh look at all the "truths" the pairing of Rob Dydrek and Christopher "Big Black" Boykins represent:
1. Opposites attract- Rob is a skinny, white male who enjoys skateboarding and pranks while Big Black is an double plus-sized black man, whose job is to protect Rob for a living... Rob makes most of his money on merchandising and Big finally got into the merchandising game to help pad his money...
2. They are considerate of each other- WHen Big and another of his plus-size friend could no longer ride in the front of their SUV together because there wasn't enough room, Rob purchased a new, larger truck. And when Big complained that Rob didn't know what it meant to be a big man, Rob walked in his shirt, pants and shoes (literally) for a day by donning a fat suit that put Tyra Banks to shame. After experiencing the stares and the exhaustion that comes with doing menial tasks, Rob showed his appreciation of Big's trials by installing a lush toilet that accomodated the big man better than a regular size toilet.
3. They support each other- Big is your typical cut-and-dry guy who deals with the world as it is presented and does what it takes to fix a problem in a practical matter. Rob, on the other hand, is a dreamer, he's on the edge and wants to try new things that are more often than not outlandish, but Big goes along with every scheme Rob wants to try to fix an easy solution. Blow a lot of money on the lotto, because you've had a dream that you'll win, sure why not. Hire a demonologist because you think a statue is haunted. Go right ahead. In the end, you really just need an exterminator and Big's right there to call.
4. They want nothing but the best for each other- When Rob was having problems finding a girl, Big honestly told him he needed to date a different type of girl. And proceeded to do a dating search for his roommate. Now, Rob rigged the search, and in the end was left with the same disappointment that he had after his other dates, but at least his friend loved him enough to be honest and help him do something about his problem.
5. You can feel the love between them- Whenever you watch the show, you can tell love is present. Their family and friends visit regularly, and Rob's cousin/personal assistant Drama also stays with the duo. Now, how many people do you know visit people with crappy relationships. No one wants to hang around a fighting couple and you never see these two fight. Their adventures are entertaining and you can't wait to see what else they will discover together.
Yes, I know Rob & Big is mostly staged, but it is by far the best relationship that I have seen on television in the past year. I'm sad that the season will end (has ended but I haven't seen the episode yet..) after Big becomes a father, but I enjoyed watching his and Rob's relationship strengthen through the years but as they say, all good things come to an end.
Friday
The Governor's in town!!!
So, one of my favorite males in the world is in town. Yep, the governor is here.
I was thinking about him yesterday and a text message we exchanged when he landed in Cali a few months ago and how he just wanted the people in front of him to get off the plane and go. And that's exactly how I felt last night so I stated to text-message him.
Then I left work early today to watch Iron Man (no, I'm not some obsessed comic freak--I just wanted to get out of work and see what the fuss was about) and after I walked through the mall and saw where he used to work, I started to call him but decided to finish my shopping/browsing first.
So imagine my delight when i get a text message tonight asking if I was in town b/c he was. Honestly, I've been in a good mood since.
But don't worry, I'm not on the rebound and there's no way I would even go there with him. He's just a good representative of how there are still some great guys out there who don't mix the friend/romantic line and you can just be friends and have a great time and look out for each other no matter what.
All hail the governor!! :-)
I was thinking about him yesterday and a text message we exchanged when he landed in Cali a few months ago and how he just wanted the people in front of him to get off the plane and go. And that's exactly how I felt last night so I stated to text-message him.
Then I left work early today to watch Iron Man (no, I'm not some obsessed comic freak--I just wanted to get out of work and see what the fuss was about) and after I walked through the mall and saw where he used to work, I started to call him but decided to finish my shopping/browsing first.
So imagine my delight when i get a text message tonight asking if I was in town b/c he was. Honestly, I've been in a good mood since.
But don't worry, I'm not on the rebound and there's no way I would even go there with him. He's just a good representative of how there are still some great guys out there who don't mix the friend/romantic line and you can just be friends and have a great time and look out for each other no matter what.
All hail the governor!! :-)
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