In between

To be honest that's the state I'm in. Somewhere between wanting to stay and also being told (directly and indirectly) that it might be best to move on. And yet, I sit. I sometimes think Humpty Dumpty had it easy. He got to where he wanted, fell and then his fate was decided by the kings horses and men (side note how can a horse put an egg back together and why was humpty so special that the king's horses and men were trying to put him together...). He was done. He was breakfast or maybe lunch and that was that. But on the upside, he did get a children's nursery rhyme to memorialize him... And while a part of me longs to have my fate become official. There's the other part of me that recites 1 Corinthians 13 over and over in my brain and who believes that maybe my mustard seed of fate, mixed with opportunity and just a smidgen of courage for both parties can turn things around. I don't know if it is completely naive to think that is possible but then that mustard seed has to take action at some point...right???