Is this goodbye?

Last weekend I went to San Antonio for our annual Black Alumni Reunion. After cajoling the ex into attending, I honestly didn't anticipate what would happen between us.

This year the reunion had a looming "couples" theme because so many of the attendees were married, so the talk centered around being married and the activities that the couples did together when the rest of us singles were not around.

Unfortunately it put a damper on my ability to have a good time because for me it was big stab in the heart to think that my ex and I had been trying to make it work before any of them got together and yet we still failed.

Surprisingly, he decided he wanted to meet me and talk-well actually he wanted more than talking but that was all he was going to get from me. Sure enough, I gathered all my courage and told him all I was feeling and had been feeling for some time. I told him how I felt second best to everyone in his life and how disappointing and hurtful it was each and every time he cancelled our plans. I also told him that when things got rough we both just give up so that was a big contributing factor to our failure.

When he tried to feed me his same lines as to why our relationship hasn't led us down the aisle because of his heritage I told him that I could live with the consequences as long as we were a team and stuck by each other. I told him that his issue was not a problem for me so the only reason he really could be stalling is because he didn't honestly believe that I was the one. Keep in mind that last year when we broke up we had this conversation he said he didn't believe I was the one and then when we reconciled he said he knew I was the one.

So once he showed that he had no idea whether he wanted me or not after EIGHT years, I told him I didn't think I was the one. He made up some excuse to leave and I haven't heard from him since.

I'm actually taking the whole experience in stride. For the first time in a long time I don't feel bad about how we ended it. I no longer need to keep looking over my shoulder and hoping he will be running to catch me again. My future looks brighter than I can imagine and I know its possible for me to find the right person if I just keep listening to the advice God is giving me. Ironically, I got to this point based on a prayer he sent me. All may not be fair in love in war but I will do what is necessary to receive the best treatment from the man in my life!