I'm happy to report my April dating goal has been achieved last Friday. I'm going to hold the details close to my heart except to say it went well. Well enough that I've already seen him again this and there's a good chance we'll connect this weekend as well. We have things in common and best of all he makes me laugh-so much that my cheeks hurt when we finish talking.
I just have to remember that everything is always great in the beginning, it's how you weather the storms that really matter.
Wednesday
Are you trying to break up with me?
Tonight I had an interesting conversation with the ex. After our encounter in San Antonio it seems he wasn't happy with the way things ended between us. I had no clue given that I didn't hear from him after that morning we talked so this was all news to me when I texted him today to see how he was doing.
I had one of those dream/nightmares and it involved him so I decided to make sure everything was okay on his end and then he dropped that bombshell on me.
So, tonight when we talked, he started to go into his spiel about how I didn't understand the pressure he had to choose between me and his family and so as a result he figured we should just be friends.
I was so entertained I almost snorted. I had to refrain from saying, are you trying to break up with me because honestly, I broke up with you two weeks ago. I really felt like he was trying to be the person who ended it, but I let him know I had no intention of being anything other than his friend and that I enjoyed our good times but felt it was time to move on.
Once we got over the pettiness of trying to be the one who released the other, we did state how we wanted to be friends and how we needed to make sure we didn't repeat the pattern. I was honest and told him that I wanted us to be happy for the other when we found someone and that I also was dating men who asked me out.
It wasn't something he wanted to hear, but as my friend now he needed to know that truth and deal with it now instead of me releasing the bombshell later.
All that said I noticed a change in my listening habits over the weekend. I was listening to my ipod that is filled with more than 70 songs that remind me of him and anytime I came across one, I skipped it. Not because it hurt to listen, but because I feel like that chapter of my life with him is truly over and there's no need to reflect on it anymore. Yes, there were good times, but there were plenty of bad and because of the bad, we aren't together now. Case closed. And now, "On to the Next."
I had one of those dream/nightmares and it involved him so I decided to make sure everything was okay on his end and then he dropped that bombshell on me.
So, tonight when we talked, he started to go into his spiel about how I didn't understand the pressure he had to choose between me and his family and so as a result he figured we should just be friends.
I was so entertained I almost snorted. I had to refrain from saying, are you trying to break up with me because honestly, I broke up with you two weeks ago. I really felt like he was trying to be the person who ended it, but I let him know I had no intention of being anything other than his friend and that I enjoyed our good times but felt it was time to move on.
Once we got over the pettiness of trying to be the one who released the other, we did state how we wanted to be friends and how we needed to make sure we didn't repeat the pattern. I was honest and told him that I wanted us to be happy for the other when we found someone and that I also was dating men who asked me out.
It wasn't something he wanted to hear, but as my friend now he needed to know that truth and deal with it now instead of me releasing the bombshell later.
All that said I noticed a change in my listening habits over the weekend. I was listening to my ipod that is filled with more than 70 songs that remind me of him and anytime I came across one, I skipped it. Not because it hurt to listen, but because I feel like that chapter of my life with him is truly over and there's no need to reflect on it anymore. Yes, there were good times, but there were plenty of bad and because of the bad, we aren't together now. Case closed. And now, "On to the Next."
Monday
Seek and you should find...
I always know that there is truth to the statement that when you go looking for something you're bound to find it. Imagine my surprise that I'd find something that now has me darn near about to throw up based on some unsettling photos I found on my alumni shopping buddy's facebook page.
I know I did my due diligence in asking the preliminary questions I needed to before completely letting myself fall for the guy's charm BUT if these pictures don't have a recent backstory behind them, then this guy has some SERIOUS explaining to do.
I earnestly prayed to God to show me if he was the right person for me to even consider dating and based on my current perplexity I'm at a loss.
I wonder if he will ever call again. Chances are, he won't. But if he does, well I guess I'll pray on what to do in that situation too.
The most important thing is that I never want to be perceived as the girl who ruins other people's relationships and I don't want people to think I'm too naive to know if I'm being played for a fool SO I will simply follow the advice of my pastor on this one and "give time, time."
But for the record, I gave him two opportunities to clarify his situation by asking him his relationship status and then second, telling him about an incident where a guy was less-than forthcoming about having a child and that not working out.
Shaking my head- what's wrong with these men.
I know I did my due diligence in asking the preliminary questions I needed to before completely letting myself fall for the guy's charm BUT if these pictures don't have a recent backstory behind them, then this guy has some SERIOUS explaining to do.
I earnestly prayed to God to show me if he was the right person for me to even consider dating and based on my current perplexity I'm at a loss.
I wonder if he will ever call again. Chances are, he won't. But if he does, well I guess I'll pray on what to do in that situation too.
The most important thing is that I never want to be perceived as the girl who ruins other people's relationships and I don't want people to think I'm too naive to know if I'm being played for a fool SO I will simply follow the advice of my pastor on this one and "give time, time."
But for the record, I gave him two opportunities to clarify his situation by asking him his relationship status and then second, telling him about an incident where a guy was less-than forthcoming about having a child and that not working out.
Shaking my head- what's wrong with these men.
I hope we have more than San Antonio
This weekend was an incredible weekend as far as my working on finding the right relationship. My new pseudo life coach imparted some great wisdom to me regarding relationships that I will share later, but one of the key points he told me was "the law of attraction."
As he tells it, you attract what you are attracting, or whatever vibes or qualities you put out into the universe to attract a significant other is exactly the vibes and qualities you will attract.
He encouraged me to do an honest self-assessment and decide whether the qualities I want in a mate are realistically something that I can attract. After doing that analysis, he says you must live your life in a manner that will put you in a position to meet that person.
He noted that if you don't like the persons whom you have encountered recently you should re-evaluate what vibes you have put out there to catch that person and then re-work your status. He also warned that the spring and summer months are the most popular or busy months when it comes to dating, so if you aren't attracting anything you also need to re-evaluate yourself.
This piece of advice has been ringing in my head so I've kept it top of my mind ever since I heard it. I did a self-evaluation and decided that my standards were in line (and in the past had been below my potential) with what I was capable of providing that person.
So, when it came to communicating with TT2, I decided that I would want someone who needed to take their time warming up to me and moving at a steady pace, but still recognized the importance of having a good conversation. Therefore, I've tolerated the text messages more so than I have in the past-because there may be something I need him to be patient with me about- but also nudged him to occassionally pick up the phone.
The life coach also warned that you must always present your best effort no matter what because you never know when your mate could be looking for you and the times you "take the day off" with your appearance or attitude, could be the very day he's looking for you.
In San Antonio, I kept this advice in mind as well by making sure I looked my best at all functions for our reunion. My friends were impressed with all of my hard work on my weight loss as well as my new natural hair style. I was rewarded with my efforts by catching the eye of a very handsome alumni.
When we met on Friday, he mentioned to his friend that I reminded me of one of their male friends which I thought was a backhand comment and never forgot it since he didn't explain himself. But by Saturday afternoon as our alumni group toured the campus, he questioned my posture and I revealed that this was an issue that my personal trainer picked with me all the time. He told me he was a chiropractor and so he naturally noticed these things but it was a gentle reminder of the "looking" aspect of the attraction rule and after that I began to walk straighter.
I noticed that he was the main person to open and hold the doors for the women in our group and when I asked a question to our tour guide regarding the artwork on display, he set off to find the answer-or what he thought was the answer -and reported back to me his conclusion.
By that time I'd popped a Blow Pop in my mouth, and he asked for one. Sadly, I could not produce another one as it was my last, but I did give him a mint which, he gladly accepted.
We walked together and decided that after the tour we would venture to the mall together. He and his riding buddy left before the tour was over so I gave him my number and by the time the tour was over I had a text asking me whether I wanted him to pick me up or just meet him at the mall.
Our group was scheduled to have dinner and cocktails late that night so I had my second outfit for the day in the car. Knowing that I would meet them immediately after our trip to the mall, I decided to change out of my message tee and put on the outfit that was more stylish, sophisticated and of course, accentuated my best features.
Not surprisngly, he immediately commented on my change of attire when we first reconnected.
We had a great time at the mall, bonding over our issues with finding shoes in our sizes (he wears a size 15) as well as our passion for Houston's hometown sports teams. When I mentioned that I was actually regretting my decision to drive to Houston that night after dinner, he graciously offered for me to stay on his sleeper sofa in his suite. When we separated for our separate dinner plans I told him I'd consider his offer even though I didn't want to go out to the place he and his friends were considering. He told me that wouldn't be a problem because he had his own rental car and so he could break away from the crowd if he wanted.
Throughout my dinner with friends we texted until I was able to get a friend to agree to break away from our pack to join him and his friends at the place they'd decided to attend. By that time everyone had decided that it was too risky for me to drive home that night because of the pouring rain. We had a great time at the club and it was there that I remembered just how reassuring a hand on the small of your back or a gentle but firm shoulder squeeze could feel. Not wanting to seem as though I joined the "couples" agenda for the weekend I played it cool for my friend whom I dragged out but still did what I could to subtly let him know I was interested.
When we got back that night as he carried my suitcase in, he draped his arm around me and we walked in together looking, if I do say so myself, like a real couple.
I only had 3.5 hours before I needed to hit the road so I changed into some comfortable clothes and removed all my makeup. Before going to bed we discussed what our relationship statuses were and whether he or I would have to explain my sleeping in his room. We both of course said no, and the mild flirting progressed again with him playing with my hair as we talked about our lives. During the talk as well as throughout the day, he gave details of his past and future, giving me a clear picture of what kind of guy he was. Admittedly there is a significant age between us that I wasn't aware of at first-as well as some other life encounters- but I can honestly say that overall those things seem insignificant because while it isn't the most ideal situation, I do like how we interact and complement each other and I have no doubt that the persons we encountered at the mall thought for sure we were already a couple. I also liked the ego boost he gave me when he disclosed that he noticed different things I did while we were together even if they were small, such as pouring out my Big Red soda and recycling my can during the tour.
When I left, I wrote a note on the hotel memo pad thanking him for his hospitality and telling him I had a great time. When he woke up, he sent me a text message to check on me as I was driving and I did the same until he also returned back to Houston safely that afternoon.
We haven't talked since yesterday and its darn near eating me up but I know that all my actions were pure and could indeed lead me to have more communication with him in the future because I left him wanting more. I mean can you really do anything crazy when you are having a discussion about where you go to church and you actually and the person actually knows your pastor??
Until he calls, we shall see but I have to tell you in spite of the recent success with TT2, I still want to see where both of these men will go in my life.
If nothing happens, I can always consider the experience as my April date even if our mall experience was casual and the club was a group outing. After all, group dates count right???
As he tells it, you attract what you are attracting, or whatever vibes or qualities you put out into the universe to attract a significant other is exactly the vibes and qualities you will attract.
He encouraged me to do an honest self-assessment and decide whether the qualities I want in a mate are realistically something that I can attract. After doing that analysis, he says you must live your life in a manner that will put you in a position to meet that person.
He noted that if you don't like the persons whom you have encountered recently you should re-evaluate what vibes you have put out there to catch that person and then re-work your status. He also warned that the spring and summer months are the most popular or busy months when it comes to dating, so if you aren't attracting anything you also need to re-evaluate yourself.
This piece of advice has been ringing in my head so I've kept it top of my mind ever since I heard it. I did a self-evaluation and decided that my standards were in line (and in the past had been below my potential) with what I was capable of providing that person.
So, when it came to communicating with TT2, I decided that I would want someone who needed to take their time warming up to me and moving at a steady pace, but still recognized the importance of having a good conversation. Therefore, I've tolerated the text messages more so than I have in the past-because there may be something I need him to be patient with me about- but also nudged him to occassionally pick up the phone.
The life coach also warned that you must always present your best effort no matter what because you never know when your mate could be looking for you and the times you "take the day off" with your appearance or attitude, could be the very day he's looking for you.
In San Antonio, I kept this advice in mind as well by making sure I looked my best at all functions for our reunion. My friends were impressed with all of my hard work on my weight loss as well as my new natural hair style. I was rewarded with my efforts by catching the eye of a very handsome alumni.
When we met on Friday, he mentioned to his friend that I reminded me of one of their male friends which I thought was a backhand comment and never forgot it since he didn't explain himself. But by Saturday afternoon as our alumni group toured the campus, he questioned my posture and I revealed that this was an issue that my personal trainer picked with me all the time. He told me he was a chiropractor and so he naturally noticed these things but it was a gentle reminder of the "looking" aspect of the attraction rule and after that I began to walk straighter.
I noticed that he was the main person to open and hold the doors for the women in our group and when I asked a question to our tour guide regarding the artwork on display, he set off to find the answer-or what he thought was the answer -and reported back to me his conclusion.
By that time I'd popped a Blow Pop in my mouth, and he asked for one. Sadly, I could not produce another one as it was my last, but I did give him a mint which, he gladly accepted.
We walked together and decided that after the tour we would venture to the mall together. He and his riding buddy left before the tour was over so I gave him my number and by the time the tour was over I had a text asking me whether I wanted him to pick me up or just meet him at the mall.
Our group was scheduled to have dinner and cocktails late that night so I had my second outfit for the day in the car. Knowing that I would meet them immediately after our trip to the mall, I decided to change out of my message tee and put on the outfit that was more stylish, sophisticated and of course, accentuated my best features.
Not surprisngly, he immediately commented on my change of attire when we first reconnected.
We had a great time at the mall, bonding over our issues with finding shoes in our sizes (he wears a size 15) as well as our passion for Houston's hometown sports teams. When I mentioned that I was actually regretting my decision to drive to Houston that night after dinner, he graciously offered for me to stay on his sleeper sofa in his suite. When we separated for our separate dinner plans I told him I'd consider his offer even though I didn't want to go out to the place he and his friends were considering. He told me that wouldn't be a problem because he had his own rental car and so he could break away from the crowd if he wanted.
Throughout my dinner with friends we texted until I was able to get a friend to agree to break away from our pack to join him and his friends at the place they'd decided to attend. By that time everyone had decided that it was too risky for me to drive home that night because of the pouring rain. We had a great time at the club and it was there that I remembered just how reassuring a hand on the small of your back or a gentle but firm shoulder squeeze could feel. Not wanting to seem as though I joined the "couples" agenda for the weekend I played it cool for my friend whom I dragged out but still did what I could to subtly let him know I was interested.
When we got back that night as he carried my suitcase in, he draped his arm around me and we walked in together looking, if I do say so myself, like a real couple.
I only had 3.5 hours before I needed to hit the road so I changed into some comfortable clothes and removed all my makeup. Before going to bed we discussed what our relationship statuses were and whether he or I would have to explain my sleeping in his room. We both of course said no, and the mild flirting progressed again with him playing with my hair as we talked about our lives. During the talk as well as throughout the day, he gave details of his past and future, giving me a clear picture of what kind of guy he was. Admittedly there is a significant age between us that I wasn't aware of at first-as well as some other life encounters- but I can honestly say that overall those things seem insignificant because while it isn't the most ideal situation, I do like how we interact and complement each other and I have no doubt that the persons we encountered at the mall thought for sure we were already a couple. I also liked the ego boost he gave me when he disclosed that he noticed different things I did while we were together even if they were small, such as pouring out my Big Red soda and recycling my can during the tour.
When I left, I wrote a note on the hotel memo pad thanking him for his hospitality and telling him I had a great time. When he woke up, he sent me a text message to check on me as I was driving and I did the same until he also returned back to Houston safely that afternoon.
We haven't talked since yesterday and its darn near eating me up but I know that all my actions were pure and could indeed lead me to have more communication with him in the future because I left him wanting more. I mean can you really do anything crazy when you are having a discussion about where you go to church and you actually and the person actually knows your pastor??
Until he calls, we shall see but I have to tell you in spite of the recent success with TT2, I still want to see where both of these men will go in my life.
If nothing happens, I can always consider the experience as my April date even if our mall experience was casual and the club was a group outing. After all, group dates count right???
What happens in Vegas...
Apparently doesn't stay in Vegas as far as TT2 is concerned. Over the weekend he and I traded several text messages where he kept me in the loop on most everything he did and I did the same.
From my experiences with other sketchy boyfriends I know this is a great sign that he is open, honest and available during his vacation getaways.
He shows a great deal of concern for my safety which I appreciate whole-heartedly. If he texted while he thought I was driving he told me not to respond and when I had to wake up early on Sunday morning to drive back to Houston, he sent me a text at the exact moment I pulled out telling me to be safe and that I could call him (even though it was 4 am Vegas time) to talk if I got too sleepy to drive. Need I tell you that gave him bonus points even though I didn't take him up on his offer?
After having the final convo with the ex I wanted to be cheered up so I decided to test TT2's level of interest by joking that I would love to hear his voice unless he was too shy to talk on the phone. Well, that got him to call and after that he called henceforth. I was elated because in truth I was testing him and he passed! His humor does make it a little difficult for me to know when he is joking or serious but the more we talk I think I will catch on, but I will try to have more convos face-to-face until I reach that point.
Last night after he arrived home, we traded a few more text messages and he thanked me for our conversations over the weekend saying it really made his weekend better. I wasn't the good luck charm he thought I could be (and a part of me actually cringed when he said that talking to me before his tennis matches seemed to help him win) but in the end he was happy with what transpired and so was I. Essentially I said "ditto" to his thank you but in a more figurative manner of course.
Things are looking up!!
From my experiences with other sketchy boyfriends I know this is a great sign that he is open, honest and available during his vacation getaways.
He shows a great deal of concern for my safety which I appreciate whole-heartedly. If he texted while he thought I was driving he told me not to respond and when I had to wake up early on Sunday morning to drive back to Houston, he sent me a text at the exact moment I pulled out telling me to be safe and that I could call him (even though it was 4 am Vegas time) to talk if I got too sleepy to drive. Need I tell you that gave him bonus points even though I didn't take him up on his offer?
After having the final convo with the ex I wanted to be cheered up so I decided to test TT2's level of interest by joking that I would love to hear his voice unless he was too shy to talk on the phone. Well, that got him to call and after that he called henceforth. I was elated because in truth I was testing him and he passed! His humor does make it a little difficult for me to know when he is joking or serious but the more we talk I think I will catch on, but I will try to have more convos face-to-face until I reach that point.
Last night after he arrived home, we traded a few more text messages and he thanked me for our conversations over the weekend saying it really made his weekend better. I wasn't the good luck charm he thought I could be (and a part of me actually cringed when he said that talking to me before his tennis matches seemed to help him win) but in the end he was happy with what transpired and so was I. Essentially I said "ditto" to his thank you but in a more figurative manner of course.
Things are looking up!!
Is this goodbye?
Last weekend I went to San Antonio for our annual Black Alumni Reunion. After cajoling the ex into attending, I honestly didn't anticipate what would happen between us.
This year the reunion had a looming "couples" theme because so many of the attendees were married, so the talk centered around being married and the activities that the couples did together when the rest of us singles were not around.
Unfortunately it put a damper on my ability to have a good time because for me it was big stab in the heart to think that my ex and I had been trying to make it work before any of them got together and yet we still failed.
Surprisingly, he decided he wanted to meet me and talk-well actually he wanted more than talking but that was all he was going to get from me. Sure enough, I gathered all my courage and told him all I was feeling and had been feeling for some time. I told him how I felt second best to everyone in his life and how disappointing and hurtful it was each and every time he cancelled our plans. I also told him that when things got rough we both just give up so that was a big contributing factor to our failure.
When he tried to feed me his same lines as to why our relationship hasn't led us down the aisle because of his heritage I told him that I could live with the consequences as long as we were a team and stuck by each other. I told him that his issue was not a problem for me so the only reason he really could be stalling is because he didn't honestly believe that I was the one. Keep in mind that last year when we broke up we had this conversation he said he didn't believe I was the one and then when we reconciled he said he knew I was the one.
So once he showed that he had no idea whether he wanted me or not after EIGHT years, I told him I didn't think I was the one. He made up some excuse to leave and I haven't heard from him since.
I'm actually taking the whole experience in stride. For the first time in a long time I don't feel bad about how we ended it. I no longer need to keep looking over my shoulder and hoping he will be running to catch me again. My future looks brighter than I can imagine and I know its possible for me to find the right person if I just keep listening to the advice God is giving me. Ironically, I got to this point based on a prayer he sent me. All may not be fair in love in war but I will do what is necessary to receive the best treatment from the man in my life!
This year the reunion had a looming "couples" theme because so many of the attendees were married, so the talk centered around being married and the activities that the couples did together when the rest of us singles were not around.
Unfortunately it put a damper on my ability to have a good time because for me it was big stab in the heart to think that my ex and I had been trying to make it work before any of them got together and yet we still failed.
Surprisingly, he decided he wanted to meet me and talk-well actually he wanted more than talking but that was all he was going to get from me. Sure enough, I gathered all my courage and told him all I was feeling and had been feeling for some time. I told him how I felt second best to everyone in his life and how disappointing and hurtful it was each and every time he cancelled our plans. I also told him that when things got rough we both just give up so that was a big contributing factor to our failure.
When he tried to feed me his same lines as to why our relationship hasn't led us down the aisle because of his heritage I told him that I could live with the consequences as long as we were a team and stuck by each other. I told him that his issue was not a problem for me so the only reason he really could be stalling is because he didn't honestly believe that I was the one. Keep in mind that last year when we broke up we had this conversation he said he didn't believe I was the one and then when we reconciled he said he knew I was the one.
So once he showed that he had no idea whether he wanted me or not after EIGHT years, I told him I didn't think I was the one. He made up some excuse to leave and I haven't heard from him since.
I'm actually taking the whole experience in stride. For the first time in a long time I don't feel bad about how we ended it. I no longer need to keep looking over my shoulder and hoping he will be running to catch me again. My future looks brighter than I can imagine and I know its possible for me to find the right person if I just keep listening to the advice God is giving me. Ironically, I got to this point based on a prayer he sent me. All may not be fair in love in war but I will do what is necessary to receive the best treatment from the man in my life!
Wednesday
A Lesson from Turbo Man
Back in the 1990s there was a movie called Jingle All the Way. The main character's son was infactuated (sp) with a superhero called Turbo Man and thus shared Turbo Man's philosophies with everyone he encountered. One of the lessons he shared during that movie was "always keep your promises if you want to keep your friends."
I recently quoted this on my Facebook page after one disappoint after the other with Valentine. Thankfully, I remembered this philosophy this week as I started navigating the territory from being a casual conversationalist with the twin towers to friends.
This meant searching and combing through my kitchen cabinet to find a decent Tupperware container for TT1 to carry around his protein shake mix. When he missed working out on Monday, I gave the container to TT2 who then requested his own. So of course last night I once again found another container that I figured my mom wouldn't miss (I'm sure if she knew what I was using it for, she'd approve anyway) and provided him with his own container. WHICH matched the magazine that I saved for him because it had an article about Vegas hotels and he's going to Vegas for work on Friday.
As it turns out they were both grateful for my generosity. TT1 sent a typed and stapled note via TT2 thanking me for his container and wishing me the best of luck in the future. He also said he requested that TT2 give me a hug and another thank you since he couldn't be there (he's in Mexico getting things prepared for his wedding in July and will be in training on Monday which is my last day).
I informed TT2 I'd send another typed and stapled note to TT1 on Monday so he promised to make his workout regardless of his travel or work schedule.
Because we talked more than usual today (almost 30 minutes -including during my workout) I was able to naturally slip in my request for tennis lessons and we exchanged numbers. I was also able to provide him directions to his training tomorrow since my sister works exactly where his training will be. Things are looking up!!
I recently quoted this on my Facebook page after one disappoint after the other with Valentine. Thankfully, I remembered this philosophy this week as I started navigating the territory from being a casual conversationalist with the twin towers to friends.
This meant searching and combing through my kitchen cabinet to find a decent Tupperware container for TT1 to carry around his protein shake mix. When he missed working out on Monday, I gave the container to TT2 who then requested his own. So of course last night I once again found another container that I figured my mom wouldn't miss (I'm sure if she knew what I was using it for, she'd approve anyway) and provided him with his own container. WHICH matched the magazine that I saved for him because it had an article about Vegas hotels and he's going to Vegas for work on Friday.
As it turns out they were both grateful for my generosity. TT1 sent a typed and stapled note via TT2 thanking me for his container and wishing me the best of luck in the future. He also said he requested that TT2 give me a hug and another thank you since he couldn't be there (he's in Mexico getting things prepared for his wedding in July and will be in training on Monday which is my last day).
I informed TT2 I'd send another typed and stapled note to TT1 on Monday so he promised to make his workout regardless of his travel or work schedule.
Because we talked more than usual today (almost 30 minutes -including during my workout) I was able to naturally slip in my request for tennis lessons and we exchanged numbers. I was also able to provide him directions to his training tomorrow since my sister works exactly where his training will be. Things are looking up!!
Sunday
Lightbulb moment
After stepping up my game and letting TT2 know that I only had a few days left at my post, he has also increased the amount of communication between us.
Someone has shared that he is shy and I can see that to be the case, so I'm looking or waiting to see what comes of our talks. I'm very serious about my stance on not looking desperate but I do think it would be smart to let him know I'm interested in at least knowing him beyond my appointment at this church.
Yesterday I brainstormed two ways that I think could help us stay in contact, one seeming more forward than the other. Feel free to weigh in on which approach I should take.
1. Magazine page marker-TT2 informed me that he is leaving town on Thursday or Friday for Vegas for a work trip. I actually have in my possession a magazine about Men's Style that he said he would read. I've thought about marking one of the pages and telling him that's an article he should read on the plane and printing my number on the page marker. The risk I run with this approach is to look desperate or for him to never open the magazine and see the number.
2.I overheard him talking about how he plays tennis and since one of my bucket list items is to learn how to play tennis. I figure I can strike up a convo about him playing and inquire as to whether he gives lessons or whther he would be willing to give me lessons so that he and I can exchange numbers and not only can I learn how to play tennis, but we might be able to develop a friendship from our lessons.
Ideally, this is the best option because it doesn't imply that I want anything more than learning how to play tennis, but it does give us a reason to communicate beyond our chatter at the desk. And as always in the end, I can always use another friend. Because my friends are scattered all around this city and our schedules are usually hard to sync.
Someone has shared that he is shy and I can see that to be the case, so I'm looking or waiting to see what comes of our talks. I'm very serious about my stance on not looking desperate but I do think it would be smart to let him know I'm interested in at least knowing him beyond my appointment at this church.
Yesterday I brainstormed two ways that I think could help us stay in contact, one seeming more forward than the other. Feel free to weigh in on which approach I should take.
1. Magazine page marker-TT2 informed me that he is leaving town on Thursday or Friday for Vegas for a work trip. I actually have in my possession a magazine about Men's Style that he said he would read. I've thought about marking one of the pages and telling him that's an article he should read on the plane and printing my number on the page marker. The risk I run with this approach is to look desperate or for him to never open the magazine and see the number.
2.I overheard him talking about how he plays tennis and since one of my bucket list items is to learn how to play tennis. I figure I can strike up a convo about him playing and inquire as to whether he gives lessons or whther he would be willing to give me lessons so that he and I can exchange numbers and not only can I learn how to play tennis, but we might be able to develop a friendship from our lessons.
Ideally, this is the best option because it doesn't imply that I want anything more than learning how to play tennis, but it does give us a reason to communicate beyond our chatter at the desk. And as always in the end, I can always use another friend. Because my friends are scattered all around this city and our schedules are usually hard to sync.
One down, maybe another left
On Friday I received the disappointing news that TT1 is engaged. Yes, the proud and generous beholder of a 100 mega-watt smile is scheduled to be betrothed to another woman. As happy as I am for her, I'm just a little sad that my daydream thoughts about me having a chance with him will now have to ve curbed.
On the other hand, this does solve my dilemma cocerning which Tower I should consider for my April dating goal (still not attained...). Best wishes to the soon-to-be bride and groom.
On the other hand, this does solve my dilemma cocerning which Tower I should consider for my April dating goal (still not attained...). Best wishes to the soon-to-be bride and groom.
The truth of the matter
I've noticed one thing about the way women and men greet each other based on my recent experience at a local church.
Because of my postion, I am required to greet people when they walk by. What I've noticed is that men are more likely to make eye contact and smile more than women.
Week after week, this happens so I'm deciding that my new reasoning for terrible female relationships that we aren't friendly enough to each other. I'd have to do some more in-depth research as to why we aren't initially friendly to each other but I do wish that would change... And soon! Until then I will still be here greeting everyone.
Because of my postion, I am required to greet people when they walk by. What I've noticed is that men are more likely to make eye contact and smile more than women.
Week after week, this happens so I'm deciding that my new reasoning for terrible female relationships that we aren't friendly enough to each other. I'd have to do some more in-depth research as to why we aren't initially friendly to each other but I do wish that would change... And soon! Until then I will still be here greeting everyone.
Friday
Once again, the man needs a ring
Why is it that women have to wear a ring to indicate that she's scheduled to be betrothed, but men don't?
As the recipient of some unfavorable news about one of the twin towers-- TT1-- to be exact, I'm thinking of starting the campaign for men to wear engagement rings.
Simply through casual conversation I've managed to find out that TT2 lives with his brother and that he's moving to a new home and that if he does have kids, he plans to raise them in his native country... I also know he's going to Vegas next week for work but whether or not he is also engaged is a mystery.
I know that they are merely a distraction to keep my mind occupied and they probably think I'm weirder than all get out because I don't talk to anyone when I'm working out, but I'm extra friendly when I sit at my desk.
Either way it goes. If anyone had a chance of the people who do come through here and flirt, TT2 is the only one left, but even his future looks slim.
Hoping I have my final harassment of the day in a few minutes and that it won't last long because I've used all my patience and smiles for the week.
As the recipient of some unfavorable news about one of the twin towers-- TT1-- to be exact, I'm thinking of starting the campaign for men to wear engagement rings.
Simply through casual conversation I've managed to find out that TT2 lives with his brother and that he's moving to a new home and that if he does have kids, he plans to raise them in his native country... I also know he's going to Vegas next week for work but whether or not he is also engaged is a mystery.
I know that they are merely a distraction to keep my mind occupied and they probably think I'm weirder than all get out because I don't talk to anyone when I'm working out, but I'm extra friendly when I sit at my desk.
Either way it goes. If anyone had a chance of the people who do come through here and flirt, TT2 is the only one left, but even his future looks slim.
Hoping I have my final harassment of the day in a few minutes and that it won't last long because I've used all my patience and smiles for the week.
Wednesday
The only downside
The only negative aspect about TT2 is that he reminds me a LOT of my ex. And I mean A LOT!!!
They both have the same ethnic background and actually look a little similar in terms of build. Granted TT2 smiles a lot more and seems to have better people skills, but there are just some things you can't overlook that are eerily familiar.
The whole thing makes me question whether I'd even be interested in going out with him or even more realistic, if I had a chance... And while that almost sounds silly, I know it's a big ego thing but I just wish I had a realistic chance with everyone to whom I'm attracted.
Because of seeing TT2 almost everyday I've also begun to miss the ex a lot more. Now, we still have a good friendship and we do long-distance friendship well but whenever we get together it's like the force of attraction between us is so strong, it's really hard to resist and then we have to spend months repairing our friendship and getting over the hurt we caused each other all over again.
Further solidifying my downfall is that I've agreed to meet him for dinner tomorrow. We'll see if yet another Thursday date falls through. I told him if he cancelled on me I'd be very upset. He said he wouldn't. I say: we'll see... Lord, please, please help!!
They both have the same ethnic background and actually look a little similar in terms of build. Granted TT2 smiles a lot more and seems to have better people skills, but there are just some things you can't overlook that are eerily familiar.
The whole thing makes me question whether I'd even be interested in going out with him or even more realistic, if I had a chance... And while that almost sounds silly, I know it's a big ego thing but I just wish I had a realistic chance with everyone to whom I'm attracted.
Because of seeing TT2 almost everyday I've also begun to miss the ex a lot more. Now, we still have a good friendship and we do long-distance friendship well but whenever we get together it's like the force of attraction between us is so strong, it's really hard to resist and then we have to spend months repairing our friendship and getting over the hurt we caused each other all over again.
Further solidifying my downfall is that I've agreed to meet him for dinner tomorrow. We'll see if yet another Thursday date falls through. I told him if he cancelled on me I'd be very upset. He said he wouldn't. I say: we'll see... Lord, please, please help!!
Getting Warmer
So in my imagination things are starting to heat up with TT2 (Twin Tower #2)...
On Monday as I entered the building he and TT1 were exiting and he asked if I had his magazine. I told him yes, I did and asked if he wanted and he said he needed a little more time so he wanted me to hold on to it.
Today, I unfortunately ran out of my Elle magazines so I was left with the latest edition of Houston Magazine I picked up at a newsstand. When he saw that I was reading the Men's Style Issue he said he really might need to borrow that magazine.
While he was working out, I was able to glance at the receipt that was written out to him and see how his name was spelled. I figured if he was the true athlete he said he was, I'd be able to find him for sure on the internet. So I memorized the spelling of his name and wrote it down in the tiniest print possible on a pre-used sheet in my notebook.
Later as the TTs exited, I was trapped in a conversation with a less than desirable conversation partner so I took the opportunity to alert TT2 that he only had two weeks to get caught up on his reading before I left. It was only then that he realized I did not work for the church and I had to explain to him what I was doing there. As it turns out, he can actually put me to work because he does need to complete the information that we are requesting so I gave him a form. I told him if he needed help, that's what I was there for. He asked if I would be there tomorrow because he would need help, and I of course politely told him yes, with a smile. Let's hope tomorrow is a good day. I'm going to bed "early" so I can look good.
On Monday as I entered the building he and TT1 were exiting and he asked if I had his magazine. I told him yes, I did and asked if he wanted and he said he needed a little more time so he wanted me to hold on to it.
Today, I unfortunately ran out of my Elle magazines so I was left with the latest edition of Houston Magazine I picked up at a newsstand. When he saw that I was reading the Men's Style Issue he said he really might need to borrow that magazine.
While he was working out, I was able to glance at the receipt that was written out to him and see how his name was spelled. I figured if he was the true athlete he said he was, I'd be able to find him for sure on the internet. So I memorized the spelling of his name and wrote it down in the tiniest print possible on a pre-used sheet in my notebook.
Later as the TTs exited, I was trapped in a conversation with a less than desirable conversation partner so I took the opportunity to alert TT2 that he only had two weeks to get caught up on his reading before I left. It was only then that he realized I did not work for the church and I had to explain to him what I was doing there. As it turns out, he can actually put me to work because he does need to complete the information that we are requesting so I gave him a form. I told him if he needed help, that's what I was there for. He asked if I would be there tomorrow because he would need help, and I of course politely told him yes, with a smile. Let's hope tomorrow is a good day. I'm going to bed "early" so I can look good.
A start...
Last week one of the cuties of the duo I call "The Twin Towers" finally took a step to actually trying to have a conversation with me. He asked what magazine I was reading and then when I held up my copy of Elle, he joked that he reads the magazine too. Thankfully I was up for the challenge because I quickly retorted that he must like the articles as well and we laughed some more.
That same afternoon I was able to work out at the same time as he and the other tower and I saw with my own eyes just how buff (do people still say that??) or how in shape he really is. And I can honestly just say: MMMMMMAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!
Yeah, just the memory of it sends me back. So that put another check mark in his category.
On the way out, he told me he wanted to catch up on his reading so I told him I'd hold on to the magazine until he was ready.
Not a complete knockdown dragout attempt at flirting but a small and appreciated step....
That same afternoon I was able to work out at the same time as he and the other tower and I saw with my own eyes just how buff (do people still say that??) or how in shape he really is. And I can honestly just say: MMMMMMAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!
Yeah, just the memory of it sends me back. So that put another check mark in his category.
On the way out, he told me he wanted to catch up on his reading so I told him I'd hold on to the magazine until he was ready.
Not a complete knockdown dragout attempt at flirting but a small and appreciated step....
April's looking slim
So it's only seven days in but April is looking like I have slim pickings on trying to meet this April dating goal. Apparently, my date last week was an April Fool's joke because the date didn't happen and still has not happened.
I've decided to give up on it and if the guy does want to resurface, I'll let him. Otherwise...well I'm hoping something will come soon... *sigh* back to the drawing board.
In related news: despite saying that he wouldn't give up, March Date aka Mr. Recreational Pharmaceuticals has never called again- I'm very happy and thankful to God for that.
I've decided to give up on it and if the guy does want to resurface, I'll let him. Otherwise...well I'm hoping something will come soon... *sigh* back to the drawing board.
In related news: despite saying that he wouldn't give up, March Date aka Mr. Recreational Pharmaceuticals has never called again- I'm very happy and thankful to God for that.
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