I am growing antsy.
But I've never been a cheater so I refuse to do anything that would hinder our relationship. Which is why I can't bring myself to hang out with anyone I considered talking to before I met him.
I actually have free time to spend with the people I've naturally been blowing off during the semester are aware that I'm finished and expecting to hang out.
Again, I truly care about him and I haven't come across anyone who makes me want to second guess my choice. That said, my itching to get out and about causes me to wonder if he is doing the same. Has he kept the two women he was considering dating on a string this entire time?
I hate to ask for fear of seeming insecure but I guess it's almost time to have the talk... #ihatethetalk
Tuesday
Carrying the weight
Finals are over and pending three more grades I've successfully passed my first semester of school. With school out of the way, there are only a few more weeks (I pray) that I have to carry the weight of our relationship.
The pressure of life has gotten to sweets recently and I've been the source of encouragement, reason, etc for the last few weeks. I know it's a necessary evil of every relationship but selfishly I'm tired of it because the beginning of the relationship was all about me.
And although we didn't say "til death do us part" we did make a promise to each other to make sure that we did only what was best for the other so that we both make it through b-school.
He's been more than patient with me on some of my issues and I am so grateful. Through the stress I see glimpses of the man I fell for and I know he's out there somewhere, I just need to be patient.
The pressure of life has gotten to sweets recently and I've been the source of encouragement, reason, etc for the last few weeks. I know it's a necessary evil of every relationship but selfishly I'm tired of it because the beginning of the relationship was all about me.
And although we didn't say "til death do us part" we did make a promise to each other to make sure that we did only what was best for the other so that we both make it through b-school.
He's been more than patient with me on some of my issues and I am so grateful. Through the stress I see glimpses of the man I fell for and I know he's out there somewhere, I just need to be patient.
And on second thought
I really have to wonder how long the ex has been with this girlfriend. For her sake, I hope not as long as he's been flirting with me. My gosh, I don't miss that infidelity and I feel sorry for her if she doesn't know what she's getting into. If he ever tries to throw her in my face, I have the perfect line 'Oh, tell me she's Nigerian so you don't have to string her along for eight years."
Did that sound bitter? Because I so meant it to be. :-)
Did that sound bitter? Because I so meant it to be. :-)
Pardon me while I interrupt your happiness
That's what I feel my ex should have said on Monday when he and I exchanged text messages about an upcoming event in Dallas. In the past, we've made it a point not to talk to each other about other people we are dating so I haven't said a word to him about how my recent romantic addition over the last few months.
Some people may see this as an excuse to leave the door open but now that I've really and truly seen the light of what an adult relationship should be, I know without a doubt I'd never go back.
Therefore when the ex decided to tell me that he and his girlfriend would be going to Dallas, I knew for sure I wasn't going to go. I could just imagine how he wanted me to squirm as I saw them together.
Little does he know I've been with my sweetheart for almost three months, including since the last time we saw each other when he tried to flirt with me and I ignored him. I remember thinking how lame he was that he tried his old trick of attempting to make me feel bad that I blew him off. Despite it being three in the morning, my brain was still very much alert and I continued to let him know he had no chance.
And two to three weeks later when he sent me a flirtatious text, I again let him know there was nothing there on my end (and then had a great lunch hour with my man).
I struggled with whether I should tear the smirk off his face by letting him know that I was involved with someone given that it could come across as a "me too" remark, but given that I'm extremely happy, I confessed the real reason I wasn't going to Dallas was to find some free time to be with sweetie and the fam.
A few hours later he informed me he wasn't going at all. Pity. Not to be petty but I think I won. And if he took the time to talk to any of my friends who we hung out with in October, he would know that my special mate has been around for a long time (at least for me anyway...).
Some people may see this as an excuse to leave the door open but now that I've really and truly seen the light of what an adult relationship should be, I know without a doubt I'd never go back.
Therefore when the ex decided to tell me that he and his girlfriend would be going to Dallas, I knew for sure I wasn't going to go. I could just imagine how he wanted me to squirm as I saw them together.
Little does he know I've been with my sweetheart for almost three months, including since the last time we saw each other when he tried to flirt with me and I ignored him. I remember thinking how lame he was that he tried his old trick of attempting to make me feel bad that I blew him off. Despite it being three in the morning, my brain was still very much alert and I continued to let him know he had no chance.
And two to three weeks later when he sent me a flirtatious text, I again let him know there was nothing there on my end (and then had a great lunch hour with my man).
I struggled with whether I should tear the smirk off his face by letting him know that I was involved with someone given that it could come across as a "me too" remark, but given that I'm extremely happy, I confessed the real reason I wasn't going to Dallas was to find some free time to be with sweetie and the fam.
A few hours later he informed me he wasn't going at all. Pity. Not to be petty but I think I won. And if he took the time to talk to any of my friends who we hung out with in October, he would know that my special mate has been around for a long time (at least for me anyway...).
Wednesday
Going, going, going...
I know, you thought I was going to say gone. But nope, he's still here.
Thank God.
That's what I do every day actually. Thank God for him and ask Him to protect him and guide him.
He's facing a big transition within the next seven months, which is why he's amazed he decided to start anything with me.
And that's fine because I'm actually in the same boat only my window of life fluctuation doesn't open until 2012.
This has been the best relationship to keep me focused on God. Never have I prayed to God so much for another person with whom I'm in the relationship. And not for God to change his mind about how he felt about me but mostly to let us let God use both of us to witness and be the best people possible.
Thank God.
That's what I do every day actually. Thank God for him and ask Him to protect him and guide him.
He's facing a big transition within the next seven months, which is why he's amazed he decided to start anything with me.
And that's fine because I'm actually in the same boat only my window of life fluctuation doesn't open until 2012.
This has been the best relationship to keep me focused on God. Never have I prayed to God so much for another person with whom I'm in the relationship. And not for God to change his mind about how he felt about me but mostly to let us let God use both of us to witness and be the best people possible.
People said it would happen that way...
Sure enough I was just minding my own business at grad school when a guy who I didn't know was looking, found me.
And I'm so glad he did.
How could I not when he earnestly and often says things such as, "The thing that makes me happy is to see you happy. I just want you to be happy."
My days had purpose before but knowing he's in the trenches with me and can pull me up when I'm starting to fall has been excellent. I try not to be too much of a gloomy gus but he can always tell just when I'm at my point of frustration. Mostly, because that's when I don't even have the spirit to say ANYTHING negative.
We're both happy, although I hope we strive for joy since happiness is temporary. We shall see how this goes.
And I'm so glad he did.
How could I not when he earnestly and often says things such as, "The thing that makes me happy is to see you happy. I just want you to be happy."
My days had purpose before but knowing he's in the trenches with me and can pull me up when I'm starting to fall has been excellent. I try not to be too much of a gloomy gus but he can always tell just when I'm at my point of frustration. Mostly, because that's when I don't even have the spirit to say ANYTHING negative.
We're both happy, although I hope we strive for joy since happiness is temporary. We shall see how this goes.
Updates soon
Life has been busy. Lots of changes especially in the romance department. As soon as I get through my b-school finals that are my living nightmare right now, I will share the news about my dream guy.
Corny, yes. But some days it's just like that!
Corny, yes. But some days it's just like that!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)