One of my favorite lines from the movie The Wedding Planner was when JLo says she's a magnet for emotionally unavailable men. For a while, I used to feel that way, and honestly I still do, but the other night I had a light bulb moment as I reflected on something a wise man once told me (and that I've written about before): "You attract what you are attractive to."
And thus, since I feel like I'm emotionally unavailable, I think that's why I've recently found people in my path who are also emotionally unavailable. I can think of a few reasons why I'm emotionally unavailable. The primary being that I am only in LA for a year, that I have been attracted to only one person who has a very similar situation to the graduate, and that I really just value my private time and want to work internationally before settling down.
I think those are good reasons to stay away from people who could derail my plans and thus if any one tries to get too close, I start to create as much distance as possible.
I wonder will it ever change. Perhaps I'm hard wired to long for companionship only because I'm not strong enough to put in the effort needed to sustain a relationship. Part of me knows that's not true because of what I went through last year, but the other part knows that relationship is the main source of my hesitancy.
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