My List

A few months ago when I got back together with my ex-boyfriend I made a list of the things that bothered me about our relationship. At lunch I was telling my guy friend that I've found my list of things I wanted in a man in my new friend Valentine. Because of his closeness to the ex, I made sure to let him know Valentine and I are just friends so it was just reassuring to me that there was a man out there who fit what I was looking for so there was hope I could find that man for myself.

I didn't tell him that secretly I hope and believe Valentine is that man, but I came across this list and had to share it. It's been weighing on me since my Bible Study last week was about Godly relationships and essentially that's what I've been wanting/wanted with my ex. Here it is:

1. No more canceled dates - with the exception of oversleeping the gym, Valentine has fulfilled all plans-including the difficult ones.

2. Advance notice on dates- He's a planner for sure and there's usually at the least one day in advance notice of planning even if we aren't sure exactly what we are going to do.

3. Phone calls in b/t days we don't see each other-not just texts - I haven't had to worry about this since day one. Mostly, it's texts throughout the day until he can actually have a phone conversation. I love hearing his ring tone!

4. Going to church together- We've both attended events at each other's church and now we just have to get to an actual service.

5. Praying together- We pray before meals and we pray for each other and each other's friends and loved ones. I always say the friends that pray together, stay together.

6. Honest dialogue in person/over the phone even on tough subjects- With the exception of him admitting (whether he realized it or not) that he has told me at least one untruth he is very honest and open about everything. I have learned to read his body language and how he can be evasive when he has plans that don't involve me but I'm very content with my life and I try to not stress out when he hangs out with other women whom he calls friends. Especially when he calls me immediately after he finishes hanging out with them to tell me about their activities. Including if they come on to him.

7. Acknowledgment of special days w/gifts or card- His name is Valentine-need I say more? Oh and the fact that my b-day is programmed in his phone so he won't forget it.

I need to know things have changed or that they can. I don't like having to beg for information he should just supply. I don't want to feel I come second to everyone else in his life. I need his trust that I can be understanding even when the news may be disappointing. Its only when he acts like a coward that I get angry... I don't want him to mistake my being with him for not having options-I need him to be the man who he wants to be. And if he can't, I need to leave. - Whenever I'm with Valentine I feel safe and protected and that I'm the only thing that matters. I have his undivided attention and I like giving him mine. We complement each other very well in personality and I like knowing that if his family had an activity, he would bring me along no problem or explain the conflict as soon as he could so that I could change my plans accordingly.

So there you have it. That's my list of notes I scribbled on my blackberry a few months ago. God answers prayers, sometimes you just have to wait on Him to do so.