Freudian slip

The other day the graduate was having a bad day and I had to leave him a message. Before hanging up I said "Ok, love you bye."

And then what I said hit me. My realization was immediately followed by panic. While I'd like to blame it on the fact that I was distracted by his situation as well as the fact that I was leaving church and thinking about my sister all at the same time, I know some psychologist would call it a freudian slip. Meaning, that what I really feel is what I said.

While I do know that I have love for him, I'm not 100% sure that I love him and I certainly wouldn't want to be the one to say it first.

Granted, I'm technically not because one night he called me after he'd been drinking with his buddies and he revealed that he loved me. However, because he has yet to repeat this while sober, I don't think it counts even though I know alcohol acts as a truth serum for him.

On the day of my slip of the tongue, I immediately sent him a text stating what I said in my voice mail and when he responded, I told him that he could erase the voicemail.

It's been a week and he hasn't said anything nor has he acted differently so I'm hoping he was a good boy and followed my directions.

When the time is right, if the time is ever right, we will both hear those words again when we're both ready for the other one to hear them.