Previous Post 2

More than enough patience

Ok, so as I promised I would elaborate on why I don't want to hear another "brotha" say that "sistas" don't give them a chance.

I have tried to give the guys in Knoxville and the surrounding counties a chance.

Example 1:

My boss decides to fix me up on a date. Sure, I've seen this guy around town, specifically at church, and I wasn't too interested but hey, you can't judge a book by its cover right? Well, yes and no. I should have gone with my first instinct.

He was nice and good looking in a way but he was also older. Yes, he liked to plan events and give me options, but he also said things like "Brother from another mother"... No, your eyes are not deceiving you. You read that right.

And finally, he was educated, but then he neglected to tell me that he had a son! Yes, in the words of one my good friends, 'a person.'

And that was the end of that relatinoship.

Example 2:

"Brother guy" drunkenly tries to hook me up with his brother. After I get an earful of why I should give his brother a chance, I decide to exchange numbers with him.

Things start off great. He even texts later that night to make sure my friends and I get home safely from our outing that evening. I start to think maybe I should really give him a chance.

Weeks pass and nothing from him. It's fine because I'm busy and wasn't that interested anyway.

AND THEN. The test. Although it really wasn't. One of his selling points was that whenever I spent a weekend in Nashville, he would show me around.

Since I'm always in Nashville and never have time to meet friends, I was particularly happy when I did find time this summer. I called to let him know I was in town and it took him two days to get back to me. He offered a few un-sound opportunities to hang out and I found myself going to bed early or working late due to us not meeting up.

And before you start, note that I did call him on Saturday to try to finalize plans and he didn't return my call.

Three weeks later he shows up at a party in Knoxville with a girl whom I assume looks like the girl who was on his phone's wallpaper when we exchanged numbers.

Example 3:

I met two black guys at a volunteer opportunity. They were only in town for a few days and wanted to know what black people do in Knoxvile. Not surprisingly, they didn't believe me when I told them there was nothing to do.

I felt bad and considered showing them a little southern hospitality and exchanged numbers with one guy. He was nice and event though he was older I still thought he might be good for one of my friends.

I'm firm believer that if the guy isn't for me, there might be a friend he's great for.

Again, things started out good. He would send good morning texts and liked talking on the phone. Not a bad catch. Then one night, his ugly side showed. Or shall I say smelled.

And all I can say is I can never understand a guy who will let substances get in between them and their work. I can't do it. I won't do it.

So, there you have it. Three examples of a sista giving a brotha a chance and them not stepping up to the plate.

Editor's note: I've moved to Nashville and based on principle refused to call the second guy in the story. ALTHOUGH I may call him to see if he can help me move-I'll pay of course.

Previous Post 1

Guys want to have their cake and Blue Bell too

Ok, so yeah I was a little hungry when I came up with that expression but lately it has been become very appropriate for the guys I've encountered.

These aren't the average men you think of when you hear about men who cheat on girlfriends or talk to multiple women at a time. No, these men are sweet, caring, have jobs, college degrees and who knows what else that make them the cream of the crop.

It's probably those things that help them realize they are indeed the cream of the crop and therefore, they know they can get any, or in this case, as many, women as they want.

Essentially, they want their cake (their main squeeze, girlfriend, wife, whatver, etc.) and Blue Bell too.

A few months ago a male friend/associate sent me an email containing the four women in every "players" life. There was the wifey, baby girl, side piece and the jump off.

I immediately though back to the relationship I had just gotten out of. I was obviously the wifey...or was I? I mean I had all the makings of the wifey: independent, loving...the one the man always came back to when he was wrong...

But then I thought about the reason we broke up. Or shall I say the person? Could I have thought I was the wifey but instead I was just baby girl? The one he kept on reserve in case the true wifey messed up.

And then I realized that in the case of two men locally I was obviously the side piece. The person they got along with and could see themselves with but never truly acted on it. In one case I KNEW he had an on-again off-again relationship but didn't care about it until they became engaged. That was a line I could not cross. And I didn't, buthe tried to.

And when he got really desperate, he tried to peddle his brother off on me. That match-making incident didn't turn out too well. It's amazing, because if I ever hear another brother say sistas don't give brothas a chance, I'm going off. But I'll go into more detail on that in a later post.

And then there was my favorite. The guy from my hometown who really put a smile on my face and a flutter in my stomach whenever I saw him. When brother guy a got engaged earlier this year, I thought for sure that it was a sign that hometown guy and I would have a chance.

NEGATIVE.

Today after several months of random text message exchanges and a full three hours of talking last week he drops the bomb on me that he has a girlfriend. No, wait. a "girl."

Note to men reading: stop being lazy. Add the word friend to the word girl. She's your girlfriend. If you decide to commit to her, you should commit to calling her your girlfriend.

And to the engaged dudes- call your fiance your fiance. She's no longer your girlfriend, she's YOUR FUTURE WIFE! (yes that was for brother guy).

But back to the story. The guy drops this bomb on me and he is going to her folks' anniversary celebration. That means he's in DEEP. And that he just wanted to have his cake and Blue Bell too-and that expression is extremely appropriate since we have the same hometown.

I'm sick of this. I gotta get out of here. And soon.

Editors Note: I just love the title of this entry. Especially considering I just bought more Blue Bell ice cream this weekend-sorry I just can't get off "the stuff."

Pardon the repetition

But in the interest of entertaining my dedicated readers, I'm bringing back some posts from a previous (and unknown) blog that I think will lighten the mood.

I'm too tired to edit so please forgive any typos.

Happy reading!