The Backstreet Boys crooned "It's the hardest thing I ever had to do is look you in the eyes and tell you I don't love you." Well, sometimes the hardest thing is to tell someone you love them but still inform them that you are walking away because it is what's best.
Sunday The Graduate and I had a long overdue chat about our relationship status. I'd pretty much resigned myself to the fact that it was over between us hence my resuming my ODAM challenge but we hadn't officially stated what we'd do.
I am still amazed (as is he) that through everything we went through (including numerous times where he just didn't step up to the plate) I still treat him with love and respect and do my best to encourage him. I honestly don't know how whatever anger I enter with melts away and turns to compassion by the end of our conversations but I guess I've truly learned to live out the lessons of love that I studied for so many months as things were taking a turn for the worst.
That I guess is what matters in the end. They say every relationship teaches you something. For me, I've learned to not try to fix others and to look for someone who truly loves themselves. I noticed a difference in my approach after the conversation. I allowed myself some time that day to mourn, but I made sure I kept the appointments I had scheduled for the rest of the day. My resolve, will, whatever is going to guide me through whatever comes next.
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