When I say I hate to plan life activities, I really mean it. So I always feel this enormous pressure when I try to pick a date activity because while I want to have fun, I also want to keep the other person in mind as well.
This week I've been tasked with planning mý event with May date and I've narrowed it down to a few possibilities. Now, I just have to see if some of these are possible:
1. Salsa dancing-he remarked last week that he loves my sense of adventure and how we keep things fun and I think this combines adventure and our love for Latin culture.
2. Movie in the park-this is the event I'd really love to do-I'd make consumable dinner and we sit on my 2010 version of a red&white picnic blanket-blue & white- and enjoy each other's company. Think Jennifer Lopez & Matthew McConaghey in The Wedding Planner.
3. Dinner at a cozy but Latin restaurant.
4. Attend an indie/art film-he mentioned last week that our weekly outings were something he looked forward to like he used to look forward to seeing indie films in NYC. Since I sometimes can be artsy, I figure seeing a film together can not only give us some conversation stimulants but maybe just maybe start a routine...(And that's as deep as I will get with that comment)
If I can get internet access tomorrow I will check out a few of these places and maybe make it even more adventurous by texting him the time & address...
Not only do I want to have a good time after spending three days in "the country," I want to help send him off on a good note before he goes to New Orleans where there will be tons of women gawking at him and trying to get into his good graces. We seem to operate on a don't ask, don't tell basis when it comes to his trips, but I'm fairly certain if he wasn't feeling our company anymore he'd definitely say so.
If you have any other suggestions for the date, feel free to write in.
Tuesday
Did I say three? Make that five.
Yesterday I was made aware that an acquaitance I met in NYC is "interested" in me. I was told this information by his friend, another guy whom I met under the same circumstances and who also feels the same way.
In my effort to be genial, I seem to have given both of them the opinion (or they just decided to act on their instincts) that I felt the same way.
Honestly they both have great qualities although my informant has a much more dark sense of humor than even I am accustomed BUT given the facts that all three of us are attending b-school I didn't think any of them would give a second thought to making a move. Afterall, Mr. Pretty Boý Harvard certainly gave up after I waited one day to respond to his text.
Now I'm getting phone calls that sound like interviews because they delve into my likes, dislikes and future goals and requests to meet up before school begins. I can't take the pressure!!! But most importantly I don't want to come between friends. My motto has always been "friends before men." Ok, so not officially that, but it will be from here on out.
In my effort to be genial, I seem to have given both of them the opinion (or they just decided to act on their instincts) that I felt the same way.
Honestly they both have great qualities although my informant has a much more dark sense of humor than even I am accustomed BUT given the facts that all three of us are attending b-school I didn't think any of them would give a second thought to making a move. Afterall, Mr. Pretty Boý Harvard certainly gave up after I waited one day to respond to his text.
Now I'm getting phone calls that sound like interviews because they delve into my likes, dislikes and future goals and requests to meet up before school begins. I can't take the pressure!!! But most importantly I don't want to come between friends. My motto has always been "friends before men." Ok, so not officially that, but it will be from here on out.
Three is definitely not charming
In fact. I know I've said it before but balancing three guys is very, very, difficult.
Because I can't predict the future, I didn't think that I'd come to like May date as much as I do. We have common interests, I can speak Spanish to him and he's up for trying new things like I am so it works. At some point I must admit that the whole thing (not sure I'd call it the r-word yet) seems a bit shallow BUT then we have our moments where we actually reach out and surprise the other so I guess were doing good.
Twin tower continues to be predictable and sweet and recently he passed a big challenge. A self-described "cheap person who hadn't been to the movies in over two years" I tested his ability to change by suggesting we attend a movie Saturday night. Ideally I would have liked to ease his sticker shock by trying a matinee but we were both busy and the night show was the only one we could both make. He didn't give any fuss about my choice even though the theatre seating was not at all comfortable for a man his height. Since he enjoyed the movie, next time we will have to pick a better theatre.
As for "must love dogs," an urban league colleague I bonded with over his Rottweiler, I'm feeling he will get the boot pretty soon. There are a number of causes contributing to his dismissal including: a) our schedule conflicts b)his weird way of talking c)the sneaking suspicion I have that he is younger than me. No matter what the goal, i will not turn into a cougar!!
Farewell, adeiu, this parting is not very sorrowful (especially if I can connect you with my friend who seems somewhat interested).
Because I can't predict the future, I didn't think that I'd come to like May date as much as I do. We have common interests, I can speak Spanish to him and he's up for trying new things like I am so it works. At some point I must admit that the whole thing (not sure I'd call it the r-word yet) seems a bit shallow BUT then we have our moments where we actually reach out and surprise the other so I guess were doing good.
Twin tower continues to be predictable and sweet and recently he passed a big challenge. A self-described "cheap person who hadn't been to the movies in over two years" I tested his ability to change by suggesting we attend a movie Saturday night. Ideally I would have liked to ease his sticker shock by trying a matinee but we were both busy and the night show was the only one we could both make. He didn't give any fuss about my choice even though the theatre seating was not at all comfortable for a man his height. Since he enjoyed the movie, next time we will have to pick a better theatre.
As for "must love dogs," an urban league colleague I bonded with over his Rottweiler, I'm feeling he will get the boot pretty soon. There are a number of causes contributing to his dismissal including: a) our schedule conflicts b)his weird way of talking c)the sneaking suspicion I have that he is younger than me. No matter what the goal, i will not turn into a cougar!!
Farewell, adeiu, this parting is not very sorrowful (especially if I can connect you with my friend who seems somewhat interested).
Thursday
Get Your Own Man!
Some people, ok women, really need to learn boundaries.
I have an associate who has been continuously flirting with a married man. To set the story straight, she initially told him she thought he was handsome on a dare, and when he thanked her, he told her he was married. Immediately, we (me and the other associates) told her that it was not a good idea to continue any more conversations with him other than standard greetings but her ego got in the way of common sense and now he's asked her for her number.
I am somewhat less than amused.
I told her she should find some men that are not married and my sis actually gave her some sage advice about how women in Texas pack heat to back up their points but I'm still not sure it sank in.
Or maybe it did but not in the way I expected because instead of finding her own guy, she asked me to introduce her to one of my current dates. I had two words for her: AS IF!
I don't borrow from Clueless a lot lately but if she thinks I will just hand over my seconds just for her sake I think she's got another thing coming. I will not give up my potential treasures after all the hard work it took to establish and maintain these relationships.
I have an associate who has been continuously flirting with a married man. To set the story straight, she initially told him she thought he was handsome on a dare, and when he thanked her, he told her he was married. Immediately, we (me and the other associates) told her that it was not a good idea to continue any more conversations with him other than standard greetings but her ego got in the way of common sense and now he's asked her for her number.
I am somewhat less than amused.
I told her she should find some men that are not married and my sis actually gave her some sage advice about how women in Texas pack heat to back up their points but I'm still not sure it sank in.
Or maybe it did but not in the way I expected because instead of finding her own guy, she asked me to introduce her to one of my current dates. I had two words for her: AS IF!
I don't borrow from Clueless a lot lately but if she thinks I will just hand over my seconds just for her sake I think she's got another thing coming. I will not give up my potential treasures after all the hard work it took to establish and maintain these relationships.
Am I greedy?
Lately I've been wondering if I'm being greedy by entertaining more than one male in the current Houston dating pool. I only begin to think this because I tried to host an event where singles bring singles of the opposite sex to meet up and possibly connect BUT my female friends didn't have any one worthy to bring. I had people I could have brought but I'm also holding some of them on reserve, so I wondered if I was one of those selfish women who take all the eligible bachelors with no concern for others.
Admittedly, I don't think my hogging two (possibly three) men is really much of a problem so I'm not going to make any drastic cutbacks, but if the number exceeds three (which is highly doubtful) then I will begin to re-evaluate my life.
Admittedly, I don't think my hogging two (possibly three) men is really much of a problem so I'm not going to make any drastic cutbacks, but if the number exceeds three (which is highly doubtful) then I will begin to re-evaluate my life.
3 is hard
Trying to add a new person to the mix has proved quite difficult. Whenever I try to add a new person into my dating lineup, I find that one person is always neglected. Since I like April and May pretty fine right now I haven't been in a rush to add but I feel that I have a good opportunity to increase my dating portfolio and I think I will act on it.
He and I have connected over his dog which is the same breed of my childhood pets. At the moment that's about all I know about him besides his profession so if I can ever sit down long enough to talk to him, I will do my best to learn more.
BUT what I need him to understand is that he almost received the kiss of death by friending me on facebook the same day he met me. NOT a good move. Guys, please learn the rules of engagement before attempting to date me.
He and I have connected over his dog which is the same breed of my childhood pets. At the moment that's about all I know about him besides his profession so if I can ever sit down long enough to talk to him, I will do my best to learn more.
BUT what I need him to understand is that he almost received the kiss of death by friending me on facebook the same day he met me. NOT a good move. Guys, please learn the rules of engagement before attempting to date me.
May Date hits one month mark
My catch for May has surprised even me by carrying over into the month of June.
I was a little wary of whether or not we'd event make it through the first date due to some complications but once we finally connected, I had a decent time.
He and I actually talk about our jobs, general life issues and I enjoy our conversations when they are grounded. There are only a few things that I don't like, specifically his need to be VIP at all times despite him saying that's not the case.
I like that he loves to travel and he actually travels more than I do -even out of the country-- so I like that he's open to exploring. What's funny about me is that I don't ask many questions about his trips, I just let him volunteer information and I listen to what he says. I'm not sure if this means he has hooked up with other females during the time we've been talking but I wouldn't begrudge him for that since I am doing the same thing- well, at least talking to someone else.
This week he made the comment that he hates it when people try to run game or play the other person in a relationship. I don't think that's what I'm doing (at least I'm not entirely sure...) so I hope that I can find out where he feels we stand in a few weeks.
I think I gravitate to him and April because their scheds are just as busy as mine, but I don't know what will happen once I start school so I will continue to give him the pleasure of my company and hope he will do the same.
I was a little wary of whether or not we'd event make it through the first date due to some complications but once we finally connected, I had a decent time.
He and I actually talk about our jobs, general life issues and I enjoy our conversations when they are grounded. There are only a few things that I don't like, specifically his need to be VIP at all times despite him saying that's not the case.
I like that he loves to travel and he actually travels more than I do -even out of the country-- so I like that he's open to exploring. What's funny about me is that I don't ask many questions about his trips, I just let him volunteer information and I listen to what he says. I'm not sure if this means he has hooked up with other females during the time we've been talking but I wouldn't begrudge him for that since I am doing the same thing- well, at least talking to someone else.
This week he made the comment that he hates it when people try to run game or play the other person in a relationship. I don't think that's what I'm doing (at least I'm not entirely sure...) so I hope that I can find out where he feels we stand in a few weeks.
I think I gravitate to him and April because their scheds are just as busy as mine, but I don't know what will happen once I start school so I will continue to give him the pleasure of my company and hope he will do the same.
AD Going strong
Can't believe it's been almost two months of communication and consistent meet-ups for me and AD or, April Date. I've finally grown accustomed to his sense of humor and sarcasm and thankfully he can also take what he dishes out.
The only weird thing about this is that he doesn't give me any indication that he believes we are dating. Occasionally he will say something sweet or put in what could be construed as extra effort and I think "maybe just maybe" he is interested in me BUT I'm usually just reconciled to live in the moment because he never leaves any of the normal guy clues.
I'm not going to make any sudden moves or give any indication that I may be interested in more given our religious differences, but I will continue to make myself available when he's available so that we can continue to have a great time.
The only weird thing about this is that he doesn't give me any indication that he believes we are dating. Occasionally he will say something sweet or put in what could be construed as extra effort and I think "maybe just maybe" he is interested in me BUT I'm usually just reconciled to live in the moment because he never leaves any of the normal guy clues.
I'm not going to make any sudden moves or give any indication that I may be interested in more given our religious differences, but I will continue to make myself available when he's available so that we can continue to have a great time.
Nice Knowing You
Today I finally saw Valentine for the first time in several weeks. To say it was awkward is beyond putting it lightly. He and I had a quick exchange of personal items that we'd had from one another for weeks and when we finally handed them over, I really felt as though I wouldn't see him ever again.
Honestly, the way things have progressed I'm not sad about this at all. He and I were great friends at one point during this year but as usual, the more you get to know someone the more you can determine if that's really someone you want to spend your time with. As it turns out, there were some days I'd rather spend time alone than spend with him.
And so, our friendship has been downgraded to practically non-existent and as he went through his recent list of accomplishments-a standard behavior practice that I've begun to loathe- I half-listened concentrating more on my runny nose which he was oblivious to. Therefore when he said he'd call me to help him with a future project of his, I gave him a half-nod and told him that would be fine. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if I never hear from him again. Nor would I be sad. And that my dears is the way the cookie crumbles.
Honestly, the way things have progressed I'm not sad about this at all. He and I were great friends at one point during this year but as usual, the more you get to know someone the more you can determine if that's really someone you want to spend your time with. As it turns out, there were some days I'd rather spend time alone than spend with him.
And so, our friendship has been downgraded to practically non-existent and as he went through his recent list of accomplishments-a standard behavior practice that I've begun to loathe- I half-listened concentrating more on my runny nose which he was oblivious to. Therefore when he said he'd call me to help him with a future project of his, I gave him a half-nod and told him that would be fine. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if I never hear from him again. Nor would I be sad. And that my dears is the way the cookie crumbles.
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