The other night I started thinking about trust. Like at what moment do you know you can trust someone in a relationship, or do you always trust them and then something happens and that trust is broken.
So as I was thinking about that I started thinking about my best friend and how he showed the ultimate trust in me. One day he called asking for a favor-he in turn gave me his email address and password and asked me to log in to open an email and give him some information. And I did-and i immediately logged out. But most importantly, I didn't try to write the password down or memorize.
I got in, got what he needed and got out. Later, another friend remarked what trust or faith he had in me to call me and ask me to do that. And I shrugged it off because I thought that's the way all things should be.
But I was naive and I now know that all relationships do not have that level of trust. I started thinking about today and what would happen should I need that same best friend to retrieve and email for me-what would happen if he decided to check a few things out and I realized my email account was filled with emails from the past that I didn't want to bring into the future.
And so, I deleted. Everything. In my yahoo, to my facebook to IM convos I saved because I thought they were special.
Not that i'm trying to hide anything, but when you decide to move on, there's no reason to let people in your past remain present and potentially ruin your future.
Saturday
I think I get it
So tonight I was thinking about relationships and why women fall so hard and I think I figured out one of the main reasons.
Society tells us that today's career woman has to do it all-work, have children, take care of those children and of course maintain a marriage.
And so many women do it that those single women left in the world realize they have have to go with the standard.
So, when you finally find that man that you think you could spend the rest of your life with, you want to divert the rest of your energies not being spent on him towards your career because sooner or later the rugrats are going to come and then you will be the last person your think about for 18 years.
Sad, but true.
And so, that's why we fall so hard when we "think" but not "know" we've found the person.
Society tells us that today's career woman has to do it all-work, have children, take care of those children and of course maintain a marriage.
And so many women do it that those single women left in the world realize they have have to go with the standard.
So, when you finally find that man that you think you could spend the rest of your life with, you want to divert the rest of your energies not being spent on him towards your career because sooner or later the rugrats are going to come and then you will be the last person your think about for 18 years.
Sad, but true.
And so, that's why we fall so hard when we "think" but not "know" we've found the person.
Thursday
"Why Me?"
How many times have we been through a bad relationship or just experiences in life in general and thought, "why me?"
That's how I felt regarding my experience with my ex-boyfriends. I didn't understand why I went through all the unnecessary drama and childish behavior until today.
Today I encountered someone going through all the same things I went through with said-ex and I was able to encourage and possibly enlighten her on a few things I had to learn the hard way as well. They included:
1. When a guy starts listing his faults, pay attention. These will probably surface soon and make you want to run which leads to:
2. When those faults start to surface, RUN! And run fast, you can't think that:
3. You think he'll change from being around you and/or you can change him. You can't, and chances are an old girlfriend(s) told him his faults and:
4. The only way he'll change is if he makes an effort to change. And this doesn't happen within one week or within a few days. These things/issues take months. While he's working on his things, take time to work on things you don't like about you.
5. Finally, it's all about control. Don't let anyone play mind games. If they can't return your calls, then you can't return theirs. Anyone who wants to talk to you will make time and you won't feel like you won't feel like a hamster running in that wheel.
if I had never been through those things, I would never have learned those lessons. Which means I would have been destined to fall for someone else with the same behavior and going through a dangerous cycle.
That's how I felt regarding my experience with my ex-boyfriends. I didn't understand why I went through all the unnecessary drama and childish behavior until today.
Today I encountered someone going through all the same things I went through with said-ex and I was able to encourage and possibly enlighten her on a few things I had to learn the hard way as well. They included:
1. When a guy starts listing his faults, pay attention. These will probably surface soon and make you want to run which leads to:
2. When those faults start to surface, RUN! And run fast, you can't think that:
3. You think he'll change from being around you and/or you can change him. You can't, and chances are an old girlfriend(s) told him his faults and:
4. The only way he'll change is if he makes an effort to change. And this doesn't happen within one week or within a few days. These things/issues take months. While he's working on his things, take time to work on things you don't like about you.
5. Finally, it's all about control. Don't let anyone play mind games. If they can't return your calls, then you can't return theirs. Anyone who wants to talk to you will make time and you won't feel like you won't feel like a hamster running in that wheel.
if I had never been through those things, I would never have learned those lessons. Which means I would have been destined to fall for someone else with the same behavior and going through a dangerous cycle.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)