In an attempt to catch up on "For the Love of Ray J" last week as I hustled and bustled to complete some actual work tasks, I left the channel on Vh1 and caught the first episode of a new dating show.
Thankfully this show doesn't promise lots of drunken fights and tongues down other people's throat so I left the TV on. The premise is that a male who comes from a family of successful multi-generational matchmakers will help a select group of women determine what they are doing wrong when it comes to dating men.
I thought some of his advice to the women and what they were seemingly (or in some cases obviously) doing wrong were valid and got a kick out of his dating rules that he dispenses throughout the show. Here are just a few he dispensed. Note, they never go in order during the show so you have to wonder if he really has a list or if he just randomly throws out numbers with advice...
I'm sure I see a book deal being thrown at him soon.
Dating Rules as told to viewers by matchmaker.
#1- Don’t be weird
#12 -Don’t go fishing for compliments- if a guy thinks you look good, he will tell you.
#19- There’s no room for hypocrisy in dating. If you won’t date guys older than you don’t expect guys to do the same.
#53 – Never bring wedding plans up on a first date- it makes a guy run
#71- most guys love a good catfight but no one wants to date the cat.
#76- I didn't remember this one by the time I started writing them down but if someone else knows, please share.
Editor's Note: While I do believe I will actually watch this show again, for the life of me I can't remember the name of the show or the "host" so if someone wants to clarify, feel free to clarify.
Monday
Thursday
The Wedding Bug
Today I met up with an old friend from high school.
Yep, I'm still searching for that circle of friends that I had when I first moved away. At first I'll admit I was being sexist and only wanted to find new male friends. But now I've decided that hanging out with chicks may do the trick.
I promised a friend from Nashville I'd hang out with one of her friends but kid you not every time I text her to see what she wants to do she says she has plans.
Then there's another girl I met from my volunteer gig with the ABA team. We got along good at the games and promised to hang out but the one we planned something she was sick and couldn't make it. The next time she reached out I had already made plans for the time she was available.
Last week when I hung out with a friend from college, we missed the movie we wanted to see but we had a great time catching up over dinner so it didn't matter. And we made tenative plans to watch the the Idris Elba & Beyonce movie when it comes out next month.
Still, a month is a long-time away so that led me to go back to my high school friend rolodex. Now here's something I may have said before but I'll reiterate quickly. I don't talk to anyone from high school if I can help it. The person I spoke with the most was the ex and now that that's over, there's no one other than my sister and her husband I speak with on a regular basis. Mostly it's because so many girls wanted the ex when we were in school that I made a lot of enemies because of our relationship. To this day I could not 100% tell you who from back then were my real friends so I'd rather leave them in the past.
However, there is one person who was a good friend and didn't want the ex. We were drum majors together and hung out outside the school walls so I reached out.
Today we had lunch and it was really great to see her again. She looks fabulous and is doing well for herself. Of course when the talk came to relationships she talked about hers and I began to get uncomfortable because this was really familiar territory.
She and her boyfriend-whom I think is probably one of the sweetest guys in the world and may actually deserve her- have been together for 7.5 years. They started dating in high school. She graduated a year after me and they began dating her senior year.
So after 7.5 CONSECUTIVE years, she is of course ready to get married. And while she doesn't want to tell him just how ready she is, she did tell me. Again and again.
I almost had deja vu of a luncheon I had with some girls in Nashville where they had actually begun planning one girl's wedding (she was 24) to a 39-year-old bachelor after six months of dating and (wait for it) BEFORE he had even proposed.
Needless to say, I was eating lunch at one of my favorite hot spots one day (and only 1-2 months later) and I saw her and the guy at what looked like a family gathering of sorts and she had a ring on her left finger. I called the friend who had invited me to meet the girl and she confirmed that yes, she was indeed engaged.
If you are ready for marriage, I'm not against it at all. BUT when you have people who aren't ready to get married themselves, please have mercy on their sanity and don't go on and on about the subject.
Based on a few things she shared I told her I wouldn't be surprised if he proposes in the very near future and that he may have the ring. I'm now convinced that when you've seriously broached the topic of marriage and the guy hasn't run from the conversations, chances are when they begin spending money on things you think are ludicrous or being evasive, they have the ring and they are waiting to put their master plan in action.
That's just my new theory based on all the stories my friends have told me. So, because I want her to be happy, I'll give her six months before he proposes. AND the next time we hang out, I think I might see if we can go to a movie. Preferably one where no one gets married.
Yep, I'm still searching for that circle of friends that I had when I first moved away. At first I'll admit I was being sexist and only wanted to find new male friends. But now I've decided that hanging out with chicks may do the trick.
I promised a friend from Nashville I'd hang out with one of her friends but kid you not every time I text her to see what she wants to do she says she has plans.
Then there's another girl I met from my volunteer gig with the ABA team. We got along good at the games and promised to hang out but the one we planned something she was sick and couldn't make it. The next time she reached out I had already made plans for the time she was available.
Last week when I hung out with a friend from college, we missed the movie we wanted to see but we had a great time catching up over dinner so it didn't matter. And we made tenative plans to watch the the Idris Elba & Beyonce movie when it comes out next month.
Still, a month is a long-time away so that led me to go back to my high school friend rolodex. Now here's something I may have said before but I'll reiterate quickly. I don't talk to anyone from high school if I can help it. The person I spoke with the most was the ex and now that that's over, there's no one other than my sister and her husband I speak with on a regular basis. Mostly it's because so many girls wanted the ex when we were in school that I made a lot of enemies because of our relationship. To this day I could not 100% tell you who from back then were my real friends so I'd rather leave them in the past.
However, there is one person who was a good friend and didn't want the ex. We were drum majors together and hung out outside the school walls so I reached out.
Today we had lunch and it was really great to see her again. She looks fabulous and is doing well for herself. Of course when the talk came to relationships she talked about hers and I began to get uncomfortable because this was really familiar territory.
She and her boyfriend-whom I think is probably one of the sweetest guys in the world and may actually deserve her- have been together for 7.5 years. They started dating in high school. She graduated a year after me and they began dating her senior year.
So after 7.5 CONSECUTIVE years, she is of course ready to get married. And while she doesn't want to tell him just how ready she is, she did tell me. Again and again.
I almost had deja vu of a luncheon I had with some girls in Nashville where they had actually begun planning one girl's wedding (she was 24) to a 39-year-old bachelor after six months of dating and (wait for it) BEFORE he had even proposed.
Needless to say, I was eating lunch at one of my favorite hot spots one day (and only 1-2 months later) and I saw her and the guy at what looked like a family gathering of sorts and she had a ring on her left finger. I called the friend who had invited me to meet the girl and she confirmed that yes, she was indeed engaged.
If you are ready for marriage, I'm not against it at all. BUT when you have people who aren't ready to get married themselves, please have mercy on their sanity and don't go on and on about the subject.
Based on a few things she shared I told her I wouldn't be surprised if he proposes in the very near future and that he may have the ring. I'm now convinced that when you've seriously broached the topic of marriage and the guy hasn't run from the conversations, chances are when they begin spending money on things you think are ludicrous or being evasive, they have the ring and they are waiting to put their master plan in action.
That's just my new theory based on all the stories my friends have told me. So, because I want her to be happy, I'll give her six months before he proposes. AND the next time we hang out, I think I might see if we can go to a movie. Preferably one where no one gets married.
Love, Love, Love
Tonight my heart is full. It wants to war within itself but I'm determined to take the positive road.
Mostly because I live with someone I LOVE dearly. Yep, that's right I've moved in...with my mom. And my dad's here too. LOL.
I'm talking about my mom tonight because even though she's spent most of this afternoon and tonight asking me all kinds of questions about iTunes, I am so happy to have her in my life.
A friend just lost his mom this week and when I offered my condolences today I realized I have no idea how that feels nor do I want to know how it feels to lose a parent.
When the questions started to annoy me, especially as I was beckoned into the other room every 5-7 minutes to look at the computer screen and try to figure out what wasn't working as I attempted to pack for my trip tomorrow (really, I kid you not--every 5-7 minutes) I remembered my friend's loss and said a prayer for him but also a prayer thanking God I still have my mom.
There's no doubt there's nothing but love here in this household. It's really tough sometimes but its also unconditional and that makes all the difference in the world.
Make sure you tell those you love how you feel and try not to let a loss be the reminder for you to do so.
Mostly because I live with someone I LOVE dearly. Yep, that's right I've moved in...with my mom. And my dad's here too. LOL.
I'm talking about my mom tonight because even though she's spent most of this afternoon and tonight asking me all kinds of questions about iTunes, I am so happy to have her in my life.
A friend just lost his mom this week and when I offered my condolences today I realized I have no idea how that feels nor do I want to know how it feels to lose a parent.
When the questions started to annoy me, especially as I was beckoned into the other room every 5-7 minutes to look at the computer screen and try to figure out what wasn't working as I attempted to pack for my trip tomorrow (really, I kid you not--every 5-7 minutes) I remembered my friend's loss and said a prayer for him but also a prayer thanking God I still have my mom.
There's no doubt there's nothing but love here in this household. It's really tough sometimes but its also unconditional and that makes all the difference in the world.
Make sure you tell those you love how you feel and try not to let a loss be the reminder for you to do so.
And the Quick & Savvy Pick-up line goes to...
So... today I had to give this guy credit. He came up with the best pick-up line I've ever heard in a while.
I was unassummingly pumping gas at the gas station and staring into the distance of the Wal-Mart parking lot when an SUV pulled up and blocked my view.
The window was rolled down and a guy stuck his head out the window to inquire about my name.
Knowing there was no way I'd give him my real name I gave him my assumed name. When spoken the name sounds like a letter and immediately guys think I'm blowing him off. So of course, he asked me what that stood for.
Because for some inherent reason I haven't quite figured out yet, I never really want guys to think I'm a total jerk even when I have every intention of blowing them off, I responded, it stands for nothing and spelled out the name letter by letter.
Brace yourself b/c I didn't see this one coming. He and his friend (aka the driver) nodded their head as he stated what a pretty name it was. Then he said, well, "Can I get your number so we can be friends to the E-N-D?"
I laughed, shook my head and told him I was taken but I have to be honest. If I weren't single, if he were driving AND if he didn't have a gold tooth (what is it about me and guys with gold teeth??) I may have relented and gave him my number. Scratch that, I would have given him part of my real number. I mean isn't it a shame how "one" can sometime sound like "nine"...Someone should look into that.
I was unassummingly pumping gas at the gas station and staring into the distance of the Wal-Mart parking lot when an SUV pulled up and blocked my view.
The window was rolled down and a guy stuck his head out the window to inquire about my name.
Knowing there was no way I'd give him my real name I gave him my assumed name. When spoken the name sounds like a letter and immediately guys think I'm blowing him off. So of course, he asked me what that stood for.
Because for some inherent reason I haven't quite figured out yet, I never really want guys to think I'm a total jerk even when I have every intention of blowing them off, I responded, it stands for nothing and spelled out the name letter by letter.
Brace yourself b/c I didn't see this one coming. He and his friend (aka the driver) nodded their head as he stated what a pretty name it was. Then he said, well, "Can I get your number so we can be friends to the E-N-D?"
I laughed, shook my head and told him I was taken but I have to be honest. If I weren't single, if he were driving AND if he didn't have a gold tooth (what is it about me and guys with gold teeth??) I may have relented and gave him my number. Scratch that, I would have given him part of my real number. I mean isn't it a shame how "one" can sometime sound like "nine"...Someone should look into that.
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